AH HA!!!

So, I sat down yesterday and did my availability for June & July for work. Went through my calendar and tallied up every damn meeting, training, etc, etc, to see how many “work” hours I have – by week.

And damn if that all that NOT WORK doesn’t take up more time than I’d realized – no wonder I’m feeling over-committed. Sent it to the gal that does the bug assignments and our QC lead in the PI. He basically responded with ?!?!? – yeah, my buddy, I’ve got that much not work shit on my calendar and I’m trying to do a 40 hour week here – I didn’t sign on for 40 hours + 10 hours of meetings a week. Something has to give.

As we try to plan out our capacity for testing for the next version, I think we need to have everyone on the team do the same – I personally think we were way overcommitted for the version we’re about to release, and I don’t want that to happen again. And since we’re both on the team for the next version and the planning meetings are starting next week – maybe we can both advocate for not having a situation where the QC team is killing themselves.

We don’t get to actual capacity planning for it until July, but maybe I’ll see if he can meet one night and we can talk through it – while we’re getting better about pushing back on “No, that bug cannot be tested by the end of the month, we have too many already” (we do monthly updates), when it comes to brand new stuff, we just get hosed. And with the next version, we’re only focusing on what we can develop and test in a given month – maybe we can do better for the testing team. I think we all default to “well, we have 40 hours a week less PTO or holidays” – but we’re all starting at less than that – easily 10-20% is just gone any given week.

If nothing else, getting dragged into the planning on the next version, maybe I can be more of an advocate for QC, even though it’s technically not why I’m there. Silver linings and all that.

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Haaaaaappy Hump Day!

And I don’t know about you, but my workweek has been just as brutal as I predicted. But, a couple late nights early in the week look like they’re going to pay off and I shouldn’t have to work until midnight tomorrow night. Gotta love that week leading up to any time off.

And, I’m realizing I need to forward my June/July PTO plans to She Who Assigns All The Bugs along with the caveat that this new project will also be digging into my time. If I have to do this extra stuff, other things MUST come off my plate. (Did have my first success – the meetings with people from everywhere have been scheduled! And no one is bitching yet! And I remembered to schedule it in Teams instead of Zoom!)

In other surprising work news – they announced yesterday that we will have the Friday before Juneteenth off. While they are a reasonably decent company, “woke” is not a word that has ever come to mind. They do try, but sometimes they’re a wee bit tone deaf. And honestly, they should have *definitely* done this last year, but better late than never I suppose. (Whether or not this is permanent remains to be seen, but it should be.)

And in “things that haven’t really mattered *that* much cause, pandemic” – I gotta wash my hair today, CAUSE CUT AND COLOR ON FRIDAY!!!!!! It’s not that I *haven’t* been washing my hair, but when you’re not going anywhere or seeing anyone (all our work meetings are audio only) – well, that “wash hair every other day” schedule kinda gets…relaxed a bit, LOL. But, the lack of styling and product and overwashing over the last 14 months, well, my hair is really healthy!

The salon emailed and they’re keeping up their safety protocols – which makes sense, cause even though it’s not a crowded shop, folks are standing right next to each other for an extended period of time. Temp check and hand sanitizing on arrival, masks required, and gloves available if you want them. And you can bring a drink as long as it’s in a covered container, so I can bring my Starbucks. (Not sure who was bringing in an open coffee mug in the before times.)

Have a great day and hey, we’re on the downhill side of the week!

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Ohhhh, gonna be *that* kinda week

Where everything is due And most of it are things I couldn’t even start last week, because we were waiting on developers, code branching, etc, etc. So, it’s gonna be brutal getting everything done before the holiday weekend, and I’m not super excited to be looking at 3 1/2 days off that are basically just recovering from the previous 4 1/2 days. Happens every damn time there is a long weekend.

On that damn project, I’ve finally figured out what it is I’ll be doing. Herding Cats. Seriously. The first task is getting together 11 people for a meeting, half of whom are on the other side of the planet. YAY!

But – my day did start with what I consider a good omen. Got my Starbucks and when I was getting out of the car, I dropped it. It tumbled impressively to the ground. THE LID DID NOT COME OFF. THE CUP DID NOT CRACK. I STILL HAVE A FULL VERY LARGE COLD BREW.

On that optimistic note for the day, time to go start early, finish late, herd cats, and test the shit out of some software.

Please, go stick it to the man for me this week.

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My brother is a *terrible* influence

Parked myself on the porch last night with a book (I AM READING AGAIN, YAY!) and a beer and all was JUST FINE until he showed up and then suddenly, it was a party, LOL.

While I am not in terrible shape this morning, I could also easily sleep another 10 hours. Not helping is that it is a grey, rainy morning and that lovely rain noise will also put anyone to sleep in a blink of an eye.

And as I said, I’ve finally gotten my brain to settle down enough to read. I started and finished Zero Fail – The Rise & Fall of the Secret Service in less than a week. Granted, it’s long form doom scrolling, but it’s a good read. And now I’m back to Black Tudors: The Untold Story and so far it’s great, and debunking the idea that Tudor England was lily white.

Time to go grind the gears for capitalism, and very possibly take a nap at lunch.

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Oh, apparently *not* dead

Went out to the carport to work on Lily’s tunnel platform and as I got ready to sweep away the supposedly dead cicadas, I realized they were actually still among the living.

Seems they were very new and hadn’t figured out how to cicada just yet.

Still gently swept them into the garden as there is nothing for them to eat in the carport, and I’d prefer to not step on them by accident.

My brother pointed out that if I was distressed by dead cicadas already, I would be in for a very rough summer.

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The Angels Were Right

When God made humans and they said, “You took a perfectly good monkey and gave it anxiety.”

I don’t remember any of the dreams I had this morning, but they were all anxiety laden. It would seem that the closer we get to the magic two-weeks-post-vaccination day, the less ready I am for it. The fact that it will coincide with dropping all capacity limits is probably not helping. I wasn’t a huge fan of crowds to begin with, and we’re gonna have a rush of folks deciding to go Do Things all at once.

I’ve kinda sorta made peace with the absolutely dumbass decision by the Governor, and going out and about is now an exercise in people watching. We’re now over 47% vaccinated in the county, but I’m only seeing maybe 5-10% of people chucking their masks. At the market this morning, a guy was checking out – no mask – and excitedly sharing that he got the J&J shot and his wife got the Pfizer one. So it seems some folks are a bit self-conscious about it all. Of course, he also had an unmasked kid with him, who didn’t look over 12. *sigh* So close, my dude, so close.

And while I tell everyone else to be kind to themselves cause this is all going to take some time to get used to – I’m also mad at myself that I’m going to get my hair done this Friday and then probably not leave the house again for three months, LOL. There are many things I’d like to do, but I also don’t want to have a fucking panic attack in the attempt, and the fact that I have to factor that into my decision making, well… brains are really fucking stupid.

Throw in the work nonsense and I could really use one more day of the weekend to just be allowed to quietly exist. My god, retirement can’t come soon enough. Yo, managers – that thing you think is a “great opportunity” may be something your employee has zero interest in, and all you’re doing is stressing them out.

And then last night, I had to get something out of the carport and turned on the light and forgot to turn it off, and this morning it was filled with cicadas, most of them deceased. :( I get that they were attracted by the light, but I’m not sure there should have been so many dead ones. While it’s no big deal to just sweep them into the side garden so I can get the work done I have planned today, it’s still a little sad.

But, on the flip side, in the past couple days, we’ve really been able to hear them in the trees, so there are plenty of them still out there having their happy bug rave and getting the next generation going. I’m not sure when I went from “these things are fucking terrifying” to “these things are so freakin’ cool and I love them and OH NO WHY ARE SO MANY OF THEM DEAD ALREADY?!” but here we are.

Now it’s time to go work on stabilizing Lily’s tunnel platform – it developed a bit of the leans over the course of the winter. Thinking that tightening up the screws on the brackets and adding some additional support with 2×1 garden stakes on the interior corners should do the trick. And hopefully some time banging nails in the sun will help me get out of my own head today.

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Oh, happy weekend!

Thought there was a possibility I’d have to do some work this weekend, but after I alerted my dev to a problem yesterday, never heard back, so – we shall deal with that on Monday. YAY!

Got my coffee and I’m plotting out everywhere I have to go today – kinda miss the hunker down and go nowhere days. But, needs must and all that.

44% of the county is fully vaccinated (58% with at least one shot!) and in the week since they dropped the mask mandates, I’ve seen exactly *two* unmasked people. Ran into my favorite gal at the market yesterday and we chatted about how both of us are holding off on going maskless cause it’s just WEIRD. It would seem that so far, we’re in good company.

I like the idea that it seems the bulk of us are in a combination of “wait and see, no harm in masking up” and “I don’t want folks to be uncomfortable if I’m unmasked” mode in my local area. It’s nice. It’s courteous.

Convinced (HA!) my brother that we should go get ice cream yesterday, and I am very pleased that I had the presence of mind to exit the shop and lower my mask *before* shoving the cone in my face. My brother was TOTALLY waiting for me to forget the mask was on. Thing is, it’s absolutely going to happen at some point – I’ll forget the mask is on and try take a swig of a drink or or a bite of something… Another reason to keep some spare masks in my purse, LOL.

Afternoon nap yesterday and I had what I can only describe as my first post-pandemic anticipation dream. Got my haircut, but she forgot to do the color and somehow I didn’t notice this until I got home, then my brother said I had to get rid of my masks because they were clogging the washing machine, the Metrobus that used to go by our house was replaced by a trolley (like the Mr Rogers trolley, but full sized – very cool!) and the kids in the neighborhood were riding horses up and down the street. Did not anticipate a Potbelly Ham & Swiss for lunch would have *that* effect.

Welp, I’ve futzed around more than enough this morning, guess it is time to go out and deal with…people. Uggghhhhhhhh.

You have a great, relaxing Saturday!

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OK, today is already off to a legit good start

My brother woke up at the crack of dawn and decided he wanted Starbucks and got me some, too!! YAY!!!!

I’m still annoyed at this project at work, but somewhat less so after fully venting my spleen yesterday, so yay for writing as therapy. If my annoyance at the tone deaf choice of mental health profession for a talk earlier this week doesn’t wane soon, you’ll hear about that, too, LOL.

Half day at work today, YAY, and got paid yesterday, YAY, and I am a mere 7 days and 4 hours FROM A HAIRCUT AND PROPER LONG WEEKEND!

County has over 43% of the population fully vaccinated, and 57% with a first shot. Our case numbers are *under* the 2020 summer lows, and back where they were in MARCH! Still gonna be watching those numbers like a hawk since the state dropped mitigation measures, but today, it’s worth celebrating.

OK, time to go to the things at work that I LIKE and not think about this dumb project.

YOU MADE IT TO ANOTHER FRIDAY! WELL DONE, YOU!!

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Fuck me.

This fucking project I’ve gotten sucked into…

Met with the guy who has my role on a sister project, and the PM that is helping our project get going.

I’m not off to a good start with the PM to begin with. First planning meeting she was pissed we hadn’t watched the 6 hours(!) of training videos she buried in the meeting invite. Then when she just announces my role will be X and I tell her that wasn’t what I’d been told – she was just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Awesome.

Boss tells me after that first meeting everything will be fine. Suuuuuure.

Yesterday’s planning meeting was not a whole lot better, and I still came out of it thinking I am NOT the right choice for this role. (And I really have tried to convince myself otherwise.)

Today’s meeting with the guy in the same role in another project…the PM was there (oh joy) and I bluntly stated my concerns, said this wasn’t what I’d signed on to, I don’t have the right experience, and I really was not feeling like I was the right pick here. (Even pointed out who *should* have gotten this – it makes far more sense for it to be that person.)

PM asks… Well, didn’t you seek this out?

The fuck? Why would I seek out a role I’m not qualified for, will cause me more work and stress, have a decent risk of failure, AND GETS ME ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN RETURN? NO, I DID NOT SEEK THIS OUT.

Oh, well, what is your role now? I JUST TEST SHIT, AND THAT’S PERFECTLY FINE.

They basically plowed over my concerns, claimed I’d have support (bullshit, this is not my first rodeo – I *may* have support for a New York minute.) By the end of it, I was just “whatever” because they didn’t really listen to a damn thing I said, and I’d come to the conclusion that I’m just fucked.

Christ, I should have said no from the get go, but I’m in a non-union job in a Right to Work state and when your boss says the department director wants you for a project… (And turns out my name actually came from the VP above him – why the hell my name came to mind is beyond me.)

PM: Well, he must have faith in you.

He only knows me from some very peripheral involvement in another project. Might as well have pulled my name out of a hat.

So, I’m pissed off, angry every time I think about this damn project, and I’m feeling like I’m going to hate every fucking minute of it unless something drastically changes.

And then tonight the PM sends out a planning email, with my name in my role on this project, and my name/role ON A SECOND PROJECT.

WHAT. THE. EVERLOVING. FUCK.

That had better be a goddamn copy/paste error.

Fucking hell.

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Oh, I need it to be Friday at quitting time…

This new opportunity/punishment/massive mistake project I’ve gotten dragged into at work…

We’ve had a couple early planning meetings and I’m not actually *doing* anything yet – and it’s just so far removed from what my supervisor and I had talked about two months ago that I don’t even know how I’m the right person for this. Another one on one meeting this morning w/someone doing it from another department to help me “get comfortable” and answer questions and such. My comfort level here is zero.

I’m all for learn by doing, but usually in situations that are a bit less risky than this – I’ve tried and tried to psych myself up for it, but I wasn’t feeling great about this to start with, and I’m *really* not feeling great about it now.

So, it’s gonna be a FUN meeting in a couple hours!

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