Musings of a marginally sane feline-appreciating female.

And I’m not even talking about whatever the horror du jour is coming out of the administration.

I hate, HATE shopping for clothes and shoes, but I have done that, and now I would like to nap for like, a week, please.

I have an event on Monday where I have to not look like I work from home, so the past couple weeks have been getting an outfit & shoes.

Many thanks to Ross for the linen pants I got last summer, and the top & jacket I managed to just walk in, see, try on, and buy in about 10 minutes last week, which is nothing short of a miracle.  (A Tommy Bahama top & Guess biker jacket – all told the outfit would retail over $300 and I got it for under $65.)

Still needed shoes.  Ordered a pair of Aerosoles medium heels from DSW – their sizing has gone wonky and they were way too big.

Plan was to hit up the local DSW today, return the shoes, get new ones, hit grocery store on the way home, be done – it’s not even 15 minutes from home and a straight shot down the main drag.  Friend recommended Nordstrom Rack, said they had good deals and tended to be a bit less than DSW.  Looked it up, oh, there is one in the mall right across the street – and their website said they had the shoes I’d been looking at, and a touch cheaper.

OK then, DSW for the return, then Nordstrom Rack for shoes and oh, wait, I need a racerback type camisole.  

Return the shoes, go over to NR and wonder why I’d never taken note of them opening here.  Walked in and remembered I’d been to the one at the outlet mall once and, “Oh yeah, I hate this place.”  Clothes are arranged by brand, not style, and shoes are by size and then sneakers or not sneakers.  There is no rhyme or reason to the organization beyond that – not by brand, shoe style, or hell, even color.  I hunted around for about 10 minutes when I decided this was not worth saving $10.  And they had no camisoles, just shapewear.

MY MOTHER’S GENERATION DID NOT BURN THIER BRAS AND GIRDLES FOR ME TO STUFF MYSELF INTO SPANX, GODDAMMIT.

And honestly, if I have the inconvenience levels of Ross/Marshalls/TJ Maxx, I’d better have the same prices, and that wasn’t happening.

Off to Kohl’s, which is still on my shit list for the DEI fails, but sometimes you have to go to the retailer of last resort.  They had one – ONE – brand/style of not-shapewear camisoles.  I think it will work and if not, fuck it, I’ll safety pin the straps to my shirt if need be.  Of course, I rewarded them further with getting some underwear and a pair of activewear pants I will likely never be active in. 

Then there was the fitting room.  We have lost the ability to speedrun a fitting room session.  There was someone’s nana understandably tut-tutting over the preponderance of crop tops & too short shorts for little girls.  It was all I could to not say, “You can thank the men in the Epstein files for that shit.”

The good news is that every damn thing I got was on sale.

Then back to DSW where everything is wonderfully organized.  Found a pair of shoes (not even the ones I’d seen online, but these are cuter) – on clearance to boot.  Grabbed a pair of insoles for my chucks and near choked on the price, but the clerk said he had a set and that they were great.  (And he is on his feet all day, so, seemed legit.)  Also had a 30 day comfort guarantee, so hey, if they work, then it’s worth it.

Got home, the insoles don’t even begin to fit my shoes…  At this point, I still have some get up and go, so, fuck it, back to DSW for another return.  Halfway there it occurs to me I could have brought my chucks to make sure I got the right size, but I did not, so, I guess this is a sign from the universe.

Return the insoles.  Hit Walgreens on the way home for their insoles.  (Good, but wear down a bit quick, but they get the job done.)

As I am walking through Walgreens, I realize I have completely, and I do mean COMPLETELY, forgotten about the grocery store.

Go to the grocery store, get everything on the list, halfway to the car remember two things that weren’t on the list that I did not get.

That is a tomorrow problem.

And I’ll be there in some form or fashion, but I am telling you right now – I am pissed that we have to do this.

Too many goddamn people believed anything and everything they could to justify not voting for Harris for any reason as a cover for their fucking racism and misogyny. On the right AND the left.

“Oh, you’re inconvenienced by having to fight back against fascism!”

Fuck yes, I am.

I’d much rather be fighting about the best ways to help people – and having a chance in hell of that helping actually happening – instead of having to scream at my elected representatives to do their damn jobs, and scrambling to help those being hurt, and watching Congress just give away the damn farm to that addle brained maniac in the White House.

I’m not saying everything would have been unicorns & rainbows under Harris, but I guarantee you we wouldn’t have ICE agents shooting people in the streets, or starting fucking illegal wars to distract from the fact that this admin & it’s backers are full of pedophiles and rapists.

And I wouldn’t be sitting here having to wonder – how are the cops gonna be next weekend? Are they just gonna be unbothered by a bunch of people with signs? Is one of them gonna decide to take it all personally and be a dick?

We could be fighting better battles.

It’s time for the 11th annual Bull City Foodraiser!!

This is an annual fundraiser I’ve donated to since at least 2017 and been a matcher on since 2021. Now more than ever, we’re all acutely aware of food insecurity here in the US, and this fundraiser works to fill the gap for families in Durham, NC over the school holiday break.

It’s gone from “Can we feed a classroom?” to “We’re filling 5,000 bags with food” over the years, and I love that it makes a *tangible* positive difference, and it also shows how many people care about their fellow humans.

There’s also a bunch of matchers, including me! Even the smallest donation gets a bunch added to it. I’m adding $2 per donor on the first 500 donors. Even a $1 donation multiplies.

(Greg is trying to find where he saved the tracking spreadsheet, with more matching info, but if this year is like any other – there will be lots of matchers, and he’ll update the thread on Bluesky.)

Click through to Greg’s thread above with the Foodraiser history, donation links, and whatnot and go forth and spend my money, and let’s feed some kids.

Even before the events on Wednesday, I’ve noticed Republican voters – who are getting punched in the face by this administration – being very bent out of shape over what they perceive as a lack of empathy from the left.

I consider myself a fairly empathetic person, and I’ll admit my tank is a bit low these days with everything happening in the country and the world, but I will say this:

I voted for better things not just for myself, but for you, too. For all of us. In Kamala Harris & Tim Walz we had two very smart, talented, caring people. They wouldn’t have started trade wars, governed via vengeance and childish impulse, abandoned our allies, and terrorized the public.

But you said empathy was a weakness, thought it was weird that Walz’ son openly loved his Dad, and Kamala Harris had the audacity to be a smart, black, very qualified woman. Sure, you said she laughed too much, was out of touch for having nice earrings and shopping at the Le Creuset store, slept her way to the top, whatever, but be honest, she was a black woman and you couldn’t stand that.

So you chose someone who appealed to the worst in you, and gave you permission to be your worst out in the world. Your leaders engage in violent rhetoric, stochastic terrorism, and are hell bent on destroying the economy – and they were clear about that in the campaign, so you can’t say you didn’t know.

Yep, it sucks for you. I didn’t want this for you. I don’t want people to struggle and live in fear.

And Charlie Kirk? He wasn’t a good person, and I won’t miss him, but I can still say political violence hurts all of us.

You screamed for vengeance. In your bloodlust you scrambled to see the video and instantly regretted it, because it’s not like the movies and video games. And then you found out the call was coming from inside the house, and boy did the tune change.

You’re mad that the empathy you think is so weak – and rarely extend to others – is not overflowing in your direction.

But I don’t think you actually want empathy. I think you want absolution for your decisions last November that put us all here.

And I can’t give you that.

But I am still here, flailing around but getting through as best I can.

Not exactly a newsflash, but things in the US suuuuuuck. ICE, CBP, & DOJ are completely out of control – kidnapping and trafficking people, due process out the window, and the courts just will not hold them to account. The courts will order them do stop being complete shitbirds, they don’t stop, and then nothing happens.

Dipshit in chief is ruining the economy with the tariffs. Manufacturing is DOWN, job openings are DOWN, and the Fed has said they’re not doing shit about interest rates without “clarity” on tariffs.*

Oh, and the shortages have started. Right now for me, it’s only cat stuff**, but more will come. Good fucking times.

Oh, and the administration is still destroying the government. And I don’t think people understand how easy it is to break things and how hard it is to fix them – this will take so long and cost so much to rebuild.

My rage towards the people who put us here – from institutions that utterly failed us to people who decided to stay home last November – knows no bounds at this point. Especially those who stayed home as some kind of protest over US policies on Israel/Gaza. Not only are things NOT AT ALL better in Gaza, everything is exponentially worse for everyone on the fucking planet.

I understand wanting to take a principled stand. But maybe you should have elected someone where you would have more than a snowballs chance in hell of influencing policy instead of giving the keys to the fascist that will traffic you to another country if you disagree with him.

One very bright spot is watching the elections in Canada & Australia and seeing people not be fooled by the hateful liars on the right and reject them wholeheartedly. So, good job watching and learning from our heinous mistakes here!

Work is…well, it’s work and I’d rather be retired, but I have not won the lottery. I still enjoy the actual work, the majority of days I like my coworkers, and breaking in my new manager continues. (Nothing bad happened, my old manager just had way too much on his plate, so some of us were moved to a different manager. Who now has too much on *his* plate.)

The executives are embracing AI, not just inside our products, but as internal tools. They want the devs to use AI agents so they can be more productive without having to pay more devs, or pay the existing devs more. (Yes, a director did accidentally say the quiet part out loud on that one.) Mind you, our devs are quite productive and the problem isn’t them, it’s executive planning and proclamations that are utterly unrealistic.

So, that’s annoying, but whatever.

Despite it all, Sean and Jorge continue to be awesome and keep me grounded.

* I can’t find where I read this about the Federal Reserve, but it was within the past 24 hours.
** I say “only” as though this isn’t bad – it’s bad. You try explaining to a cat what is going on and why you’re rationing their treats.

I need a thesaurus for new words for awful, there is no debating that this is all awful.

But living through it all is just really, really strange. Just whipsawing between the day-to-day stuff, and trying to stop the fall of the republic.

Yesterday, I had to go to the outlet mall to buy jeans – boring and unimportant, but I needed pants – and during lunch I see the President has put out a statement indicating he has no intention of staying within the bounds of the law and/or a hella call to violence, depending on how you read it.

Nothing like one moment being pleased that you branched out style-wise with your new jeans, then looking at your phone while taking a bite of your sandwich and then thinking, “Um, I am not sure this ends the way the President thinks it will.” Followed almost immediately by discovering that folks involved in nuclear weapons security were fired and now they want them back but don’t know how to find them. But I also needed to finish my lunch, because damn, I was hungry.

Then there is work, where you’d never EVER know anything was going on outside the company walls, despite the fact that over half the US employees are under threat by their own government. This while drafting notes for calls to my fed reps, and letters to my state/county/local folks asking, “So, what happens when the federal government fails?” while also not forgetting that client meeting at 3, and not screaming at anyone.

Then it’s “I really need to polish & waterproof my black flats, and the water stick things in the houseplants need to be switched out, and oh look, DOGE has posted classified information on an insecure public facing website.”

And invariably, at least once a day someone posts, “Well, whatever you think you would have been doing in Germany in the 30’s, you’d better be doing it now.” Fuck me, I don’t know what I would have done then and I am not really sure I know what I should be doing now, but at least I know donating to the food bank & the LGBTQIA+ youth group helps *someone* because nothing else is working.

Plus, do not fall into despair every time you read that your reps don’t look at written comms (which is ableist as fuck and makes our reps inaccessible) and your phone call won’t mean much because you don’t have a “story” because you haven’t been punched in the face by this administration *yet* and just caring very deeply about the hurt and harm somehow isn’t particularly compelling. But definitely do not despair.

As I try to process the chaos and figure out how to fight back, all the mundane stuff goes on, because it has to – clean the litter box, make sure the bills get paid, don’t forget to eat, and topple the government with a cheery fighting face. Bonus: Whatever you’re doing, someone will gleefully tell you that you’re doing it all wrong.

IT’S FUCKING WEIRD, RIGHT?