Fuck me.

This fucking project I’ve gotten sucked into…

Met with the guy who has my role on a sister project, and the PM that is helping our project get going.

I’m not off to a good start with the PM to begin with. First planning meeting she was pissed we hadn’t watched the 6 hours(!) of training videos she buried in the meeting invite. Then when she just announces my role will be X and I tell her that wasn’t what I’d been told – she was just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Awesome.

Boss tells me after that first meeting everything will be fine. Suuuuuure.

Yesterday’s planning meeting was not a whole lot better, and I still came out of it thinking I am NOT the right choice for this role. (And I really have tried to convince myself otherwise.)

Today’s meeting with the guy in the same role in another project…the PM was there (oh joy) and I bluntly stated my concerns, said this wasn’t what I’d signed on to, I don’t have the right experience, and I really was not feeling like I was the right pick here. (Even pointed out who *should* have gotten this – it makes far more sense for it to be that person.)

PM asks… Well, didn’t you seek this out?

The fuck? Why would I seek out a role I’m not qualified for, will cause me more work and stress, have a decent risk of failure, AND GETS ME ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN RETURN? NO, I DID NOT SEEK THIS OUT.

Oh, well, what is your role now? I JUST TEST SHIT, AND THAT’S PERFECTLY FINE.

They basically plowed over my concerns, claimed I’d have support (bullshit, this is not my first rodeo – I *may* have support for a New York minute.) By the end of it, I was just “whatever” because they didn’t really listen to a damn thing I said, and I’d come to the conclusion that I’m just fucked.

Christ, I should have said no from the get go, but I’m in a non-union job in a Right to Work state and when your boss says the department director wants you for a project… (And turns out my name actually came from the VP above him – why the hell my name came to mind is beyond me.)

PM: Well, he must have faith in you.

He only knows me from some very peripheral involvement in another project. Might as well have pulled my name out of a hat.

So, I’m pissed off, angry every time I think about this damn project, and I’m feeling like I’m going to hate every fucking minute of it unless something drastically changes.

And then tonight the PM sends out a planning email, with my name in my role on this project, and my name/role ON A SECOND PROJECT.

WHAT. THE. EVERLOVING. FUCK.

That had better be a goddamn copy/paste error.

Fucking hell.

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