Pour one out for the Jeep.

Posted on June 9, 2021 by A Dreamer

So, the check engine light came on in my car. Then went off. Then came on again – caught the code, throttle position sensor. Made the appointment to take it to the shop. The light went off again.

The shop: “Yeahhhhhh, we couldn’t trigger the light again, but given the engine noises we heard and the age of the car, the engine is on its last legs. Anything is fixable with enough money, but…”

Better to know now so I can calmly go about acquiring a replacement, rather than it being a flaming heap at the side of the road.

The Jeep is 18 years old. It’s been a fantastic car. It owes me *nothing* after all these years. It was the first car I got all on my own after I got divorced.

Got a little teary eyed driving it back from the shop.

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It’s a very small miracle

Posted on June 9, 2021 by A Dreamer

that I am awake and semi-functioning for the 7:30AM meeting. GO ME.

Then the 8AM meeting. Hoo boy that is gonna be fun. A higher up had the FUCKING AUDACITY to IM me at 10 last night suggesting we skip the meeting because we still don’t have design documents – um, no, how about we have the meeting and someone explain why we don’t have design documents. I’m not gonna be bitchy about it, but we need to at least identify what the design logjam *is* so we have half a chance at fixing it. Call me crazy, but I would prefer not to ignore the fact that we’re missing critical shit.

This project needs a disaster recovery manager – personally, I think we need to cut some of these features from the version *now* and put them in the next one, so we can really focus on what we can do in this version and do it well. But, I don’t think I’m empowered to do that… So, I will be asking today – what is the drop dead date where we decide “no, if we don’t have a design, we don’t go forward with this now” – and see if we can’t get the idea in folks heads that we can’t commit to items we don’t have designs for.

I mean, I already am pretty sure it’s gonna be, “oh no, these all have to go in this next version” and it’s gonna take forever to get the design done and we’re gonna be overcommitted and in crunch mode this fall, but I can try.

What is killing me is that I’m going to in there, be a pain in the ass, maybe accomplish nothing, and come out going, “SEE, I TOLD YOU I AM NOT RIGHT FOR THIS” and some fucking manager will be thinking, “This is great!”

I don’t wanna be great.

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It’s Primary Day in Virginia

Posted on June 8, 2021 by A Dreamer

And I must admit, I am not enthused. We have a dizzying array of exceptionally qualified candidates for Governor/Lt. Governor/Attorney General, and it’s going to end up being three white guys, because…well, we all know why.

Doesn’t help that 90% of the time, I vote for a losing candidate in the primaries, so going into the general, I am just, “well, I guess this is what I’m stuck with.” Why don’t any of these men have anyone in their lives that will tell them they need to sit their ass down?

Shit, this is how we have a damn administration & Congress that have barely been able to pass temporary legislation in the midst of a public health emergency – too many fucking rich white men who aren’t affected either way by legislation they pass or don’t pass.

I’m a bit frustrated with the system today. I mean, really, why are we still doing governance by white men, for white men? (I know why, but still.)

But, I will still go vote. Maybe it will work this time.

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Thanks, Capitalism!

Posted on June 7, 2021 by A Dreamer

And shitty worldwide governance. Can’t think of another reason we’re looking at a week of 90º weather AT THE START OF FUCKING JUNE.

Also just woke up in a bad mood, which is an awesome omen for the week as a whole.

Just over a month to the beach and it can’t get here a moment too soon. Overdue for a change of scenery, no work, and seafood.

I swear, I have got to get the “move my ass closer to the coast” plan in gear. More light year round, milder temps both summer and winter, and way better food options.

OK, if we’re going to be real, I need to get my RETIREMENT plan in better gear. I am not sure I can do another 13-15 years of this. But, yay for living in a society where health care is a for profit enterprise, dental care isn’t considered health care, and it’s basically work or die. Or work til you die – probably at work.

Thank god I only have one meeting today and it’s one where I can just stay on mute and not actually participate, because my lord, I am a super crankypants this morning, and it will be best for all that I can just work in peace and quiet.

Remote work has so many advantages, and not having to deal with people in person is HUGE, especially when you’re in a shitty mood. Seriously, not having to do the nonsense small talk and having to explain why you’re not all chipper, and being able to just put your head down and work and be done with it – a absolute godsend.

I am going to cling to that tiny good thing and muck through the day as best I can.

You find that tiny good thing and hang on to it as best you can, too.

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You made it to another Friday!

Posted on June 4, 2021 by A Dreamer

And I don’t know about you, but I am utterly knackered. Why are short weeks so damn tiring?

Oh, because capitalism says you’re still gonna jam in 40 hours worth of productivity, holidays and “work life balance early quitting time” be damned. Forgot about that.

And today is Lily’s vet appointment for her rabies vaccine, so off work at 1, then a wrestling match into the crate, quick trip AND THEN WE NAP LIKE GODS.

And at some point today or early next week, I need to sit down and figure out why we only have design docs for 2 of 6 “must have” features for the next version. I mean fuck, if we’re supposed to start coding this stuff next month, we need designs. I’d certainly prefer to spend my time elsewhere, and I am not sure it’s actually part of the SM role, but they dragged me into the total process, so here we are.

Me: Making management regret their decisions since 1992.

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Ohhhh, Wednesdays are gonna SUCK even more

Posted on June 3, 2021 by A Dreamer

I thought the 8AM meetings hurt – I logged in yesterday at 7:30 and found *another* last second meeting invite for a weekly 7:30 meeting. HAHAHAHAHAHA, FML.

Yesterday’s meeting was…a mess. I handed it off to the other SM cause I don’t know what I’m doing yet and we basically did 40 minutes of cut & paste from one section of our feature tracking page to another… No real concern over the fact that of 6 features we want in the next version, we only have design docs for 2 of them… Not sure it was a great use of anyone’s time, and frankly, my presence is superfluous at best. Anyone already on the team could cut & paste and ignore the lack of design docs.

At least on the real workload side, the week isn’t *as* bad as I thought it would be – I have a spreadsheet (because of course I have a spreadsheet) with all my defects, the deadlines, the estimated time to do them, and how much time I actually have to do them. Somehow, I had this coming weekend deducted out of “time available” in there twice – nice to suddenly find two days out of nowhere.

And speaking of workloads, it’s time to go do the thing. You have a great day and don’t get yourself invited to a weekly 7:30AM meeting.

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8 AM meetings SUUUUUCK

Posted on June 2, 2021 by A Dreamer

But those are the joys of a team that is literally on opposite sides of the planet. Worse yet, I was the asshole that scheduled it, as my side of the planet apparently isn’t as keen on doing 9PM meetings. (Oh, we WILL have some 9PM meetings to accommodate our teammates. Just not this month.) I hate being SM already.

Got up this morning and threw on my jeans and a hoodie and discovered that the zipper mechanism on the hoodie is just gone. That was a level of confusion I just could not handle at 6:15 AM.

The LilyMonster is up in arms over being up so early as well. I don’t love it either, but that’s going to be Wednesdays for the foreseeable future.

On a positive note – got my two floating holidays for getting vaccinated! Total honor system – all I had to give was the date of the second shot & the brand. I’m sure we’ll have a few folks who lie about it, but I’m glad they went as un-intrusive as possible on detail gathering. Also loving that I came out ahead on the deal – those Friday appointments paid off in more ways that one, LOL.

Being vaccinated is great and weird. I’ve got an invite to a 1st birthday party in two weekends and, well, I can actually go to it. Even with the whirlwind first vaccinated weekend, being able to do things is very odd, and it’s going to take a bit of getting used to – I suspect I’m going to be as hermit-tastic as ever just because I am not used to doing things anymore. I love people, but they are still exhausting.

And speaking of exhausting, I now get to go lead a meeting that I am in no way qualified to lead. This should be…something.

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*yawn*

Posted on June 1, 2021 by A Dreamer

A bleary eyed Happy Pride to all! Don’t invite your oppressors to the parade. It will be interesting to see if work says anything this week, or if they do their usual “Oh shit, it’s Pride Month” message the last week of June.

It’s gonna be another brutal week at work where I try and fit roughly 6 days of work into 3 1/2. Probably should have tried to get ahead over the holiday weekend, but fuck, I shouldn’t have to work over my holiday weekend.

I don’t know how our workload scheduling got so fucked up, but here we are, and I’m going to continue to send the QC lead a *weekly* breakdown of what hours I actually have available each month, because I don’t think they realize how much “not work” shit I deal with every week and maybe that will help a little. Probably should have done that ages ago – I just didn’t realize how many meetings, focus groups, training time, etc, I deal with every week.

And this damn new project role. This has got to be a punishment of some sort, I swear. I don’t think I’ve mentioned the actual role – Scrum Master for one of our modules for the next version. JFC – agile development is SO dude centered – the reason it’s called a Scrum Master is because if they called it what it is – Administrative Lead – no guy would do it. But make it sports and D&D, and they’re all in. And I remain utterly unconvinced that I am the right person for it. (I was told I would basically be the QC liaison. This is not even remotely that in any way, shape, or form.) And I’m still listed as SM for another module that will move to agile in the version after this next one – that had better get fixed.

It should have been our QC lead as the SM – but “he’s got too much on his plate” – well, get some shit off his plate so you actually have the right person in the role.

And people think I sought out this role, FML.

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Well, I’m good for another year!

Posted on May 30, 2021 by A Dreamer

Since hitting the 2 shots + 2 weeks mark, I’ve gotten my hair cut and colored, had inside beer, the last person I hugged in 2020 was the first person I hugged in 2021, and I’ve had breakfast at my local diner. And none of it was as weird as I had been anticipating.

The haircut… OMG, so wonderful. I still feel like a million bucks and think, “Who is that sexy mofo?!” when I look in the mirror. And feeling very smart that I used disposable masks and brought extras, cause mine got all wet and I had to change it out halfway through, LOL. And my hairdresser did a fantastic job considering the mess she had to start with.

And inside beer! We went up fully prepared to do a 180 if it was too crowded or felt weird – but it was actually fine. They’re still running at reduced capacity for tables cause they don’t have enough staff, and the phrase I kept hearing over and over was, “So – how did you feel after your shots?!”

Diner still running on limited capacity as well and requiring masks – but it was great to sit down and have my eggs & bacon and read the Economist.

And tonight, we’re meeting friends for dinner at Trattoria Villagio – last place we ate out before it all went to shit. There is an old school daquiri and some short rib ragu in my near future.

I’ve seriously caught up on 14 months of social interaction in 3 days. I can easily hermit up again for another 6-12 months should the need arise, LOL.

But my lord, it is SO nice to just do a few normal things with a bit less anxiety.

Please get vaccinated – it will be great.

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441 days

Posted on May 28, 2021 by A Dreamer

From my community losing it collective shit and clearing the grocery stores (WTF) to fully vaccinated. In a nod to science, I dropped from double masking to single masking today, and DAMN if my face didn’t feel a bit naked – that second mask did provide quite a bit of insulation.

What a fucking 400+ days it’s been. So many lost, so many hurt, and it didn’t have to be that way. I will never forgive or forget how the last administration handled this. (Or didn’t handle it, if we’re being honest.)

And the folks that just showed their ass through all this? I saw you, and I won’t forget that either.

But to all of y’all that stayed home, masked up, got takeout, skipped haircuts, relentlessly washed your hands, and generally did your best to keep yourself AND OTHERS safe – thank you.

If you’ve not gotten vaccinated yet – please do! It really is FREE. If you’re confused by the appointment systems, seriously, just go walk up to your local pharmacy and talk to them – we’re at a point in the US where the vaccine is widely available and they can help you.

If you have gotten vaccinated – YAY, YOU!

My company finally came out with a vaccine PTO policy – get vaccinated, get two floating holidays! Retroactive! Pretty sweet for me since I only ended up taking 3/4 of a day off between both shots. I know the prize for getting vaccinated is not getting sick and keeping others safe, but some extra time off is nice, too.

And I get to wear this sweet t-shirt today!

T-shirt with cartoon cats hugging that says Hug Me I'm Vaccinated
OK, not sure I’m actually ready for hugs, but at least folks know they can stand next to me safely
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