Why are my shoulders connected to my ears?

At some point I figured out that I carry all the tension in my life in my shoulders and the back of my neck. It took a ridiculous amount of time to figure that out, but that is on par with figuring out a lot of other things in life. (And to think I was considered “gifted” as a youngster.)

For the last 3ish days, I swear, I have felt like someone threaded shoelaces between my shoulder blades and pulled them as tight as possible and then double knotted the bows just to be on the safe side.

Sure, I could schedule a massage somewhere and request that they pummel the daylights out of my shoulders and that would take care of the problem – temporarily. (I should do that anyway, even if it is a temporary fix.)

Note: This is where it may or may not have posted for a while last night. It still says “draft” as I’m writing this, but someone also managed to like the post this morning, so who knows. But it was a semi-good stopping point.

The problem is that I really can’t zero in on what’s bugging me. Which means that rather than any one overriding thing, it’s just the culmination of a whole bunch of stupid little things. The problem there is that I don’t know which stupid little thing to address first. Severe annoyance and knotted shoulders via 1000 paper cuts or something like that.

What sure as hell didn’t help was the police helicopter racing right over my house this morning at o-dark-thirty, scaring me out of a dead sleep. (The worst way to wake up.) Then I heard a car door close, thought it was the house door, then realized my brother was *not* home yet… Cue not being able to sleep for another 2 hours. To her credit, Carmen, my Prozac Princess got up on the bed and guarded my feet while I tried to go back to sleep. (Both cats greatly prefer their buckwheat pillow in the hallway at night, because they know I can’t accidentally kick them in the head there.)

So, the task for this week (along with unfucking the kitchen, gawd, what a disaster) is to figure out the biggest of the small things and deal with it. It’s rare that I miss my terrible habit days of working myself to exhaustion – but occasionally there is something to be said for being too tired to be stressed.

My little grey guardian:

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Posted in Carmen, Miscellany, Personal, Photos | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

I have apparently offended the mail and shipping gods…

3 weeks ago, my dentist mailed a refund check to me.  Never arrived.

2 weeks ago, I got what I assume was a lovely Christmas card from a friend.  But I only got the envelope.

Then on the 29th, I shipped out a package.  It was destroyed in transit on the 30th.

Bonus: The lady at Staples was completely confounded at my predicament.  No, the problem is not that I can’t track the package.  The problem is that the tracking informs me that the package has been damaged and all contents disposed of…   (Also, she was fairly convinced that the paperwork would have been packed away because it was “last year”…  Um, no.)

Fortunately, I’m told that Mona who works on Monday will be able to handle this.  I don’t mind an extra trip – Staples is under 5 minutes away and it’s a good excuse to get some enchiladas for lunch.

But seriously – I even gave our mail lady cookies for Christmas!  How do I appease the shipping gods?!

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It’s OK to medicate your pets for behaviour issues

Especially if it means you get to keep that pet happy and healthy and around for many more years.

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Carmen as a kitten

The first photo is my sweet little Carmen as a kitten.  At the shelter, she literally walked over to me, jumped into my lap and sat down and looked at me as if to say, “So, when are we going home?”  It wasn’t my imagination – even the adoption coordinator said, “I think she has chosen you!”  And she did.

Little did I know that part of her choosing me was, “Hey, I’m probably going to have some issues in the future, and I can tell that you will do whatever you can to make it all OK!”  (There was another lady at the shelter that day, and she took the other two kittens from the same litter.  Part of me thinks that she might not have dealt as kindly with Carmen’s issues.)

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Carmen and Lady Fuller of Brushman – aka, Lily

 

Carmen’s issues stem from her little sister Lily, aka, Lady Fuller of Brushman here…  If she felt Lily was in danger and/or had been injured – all bets were off and claws and teeth and growls from the depths of hell came out and a massive meltdown ensued.  We had a couple meltdowns and I was literally in the midst of trying to figure out how to describe it to my vet when we had a mega-meltdown that required antibiotics for my shredded foot and a VERY uncomfortable conversation with animal control.

So I took her to my vet and said, “What can we do?  I do not want to put down an otherwise healthy cat for simply wanting (to an unfortunate extreme) to protect her sibling.  The best words I have ever heard – “Prozac is very effective in cats.  Let’s try that.  If it doesn’t work, we can try other things.  This can be managed.”  (I already adored Dr. Alt of the Burke Vet Clinic.  This pretty much sealed lifetime devotion.)

Holy shit, Batman.  She’s been on Prozac/Fluoextine (via PillPockets) for about a year and a half now.  What a difference some pharmaceuticals can make.  She hasn’t even had any of the side effects – she *might* sleep a wee bit more – but she’s a cat, so…she sleeps a lot.

I don’t know exactly when she decided that the ceiling fan was the enemy (she was very little when that cropped up)  – but now she just gives it the side-eye and goes on sitting in my lap.  When Moxley decides he must bark and chase Lily, she just gets mildly concerned – which is quickly decelerated by some crunchy food.  (And she knows it – and looks at me like, “Hey!  Didn’t freak out – so, how about some crunchy foods?!?)

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Lily, Carmen, and a reluctant (and shaggy) Moxley

Tonight we had another “Proof of Concept’ with the meds.  I came in and the Moxley dog (at left – with better haircut now) and Lily were competing for my attention.  Neither cat is afraid of the dog – but Carmen worries about sister Lily.

There was some barking and chasing between Mox & Lily that resulted into running and skidding and crashing into the recycling bin.  Which in the past would have ended badly because Carmen was having none of this Dog barking at Sister crap.  But tonight?  Carmen just looked on and then looked at me as if to say, “Hey, don’t I get some crunchy treats for not freaking out?!”  (Which she got.)

And when the dog isn’t chasing Lily?  Carmen is a sweetheart.  (Which she always was – it’s good to have the sweetie cat here pretty much all the time.)  She loves cuddles and pettins (on her terms of course) – but I no longer worry about her completely losing her shit to the point where I have to explain to a healthcare professional why I need antibiotics and a tetanus booster.  Soothing words and crunchy foods take care of it when she gets stressed.

It is OK to give your pets meds for behaviour.  Especially if it means you get to have those pets around longer – and without the behaviour issues.  I have my sweet Carmen back because of meds.  Had there been no pharmaceutical answer – I’m not sure I could say that – and not because I am lazy or impatient – but because while *I* could deal with her meltdowns up to a point – there are other people who also take care of her – and I can’t ask them to take on her mental issues.  Now – when our beach trip petsitter showed up this summer to get the keys?  Carmen ran across the kitchen to check her out and say Hello.  So, yay for meds.

Without meds?  I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving her with anyone.  With meds?  “Give meds and apply crunchy food liberally and all will be OK” – and it was.

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Carmen and Lily on a snow day – not pleased with the paparazzi

 

They only look grumpy because I’m trying to take their photo – this was the snow day earlier this week and both decided that the back of the sofa was a great place.

Posted in Carmen, Lily, Moxley, Pets, Photos | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Feed It All!

You know the old saying, “Feed a Fever, Starve a Cold”?  Or maybe it’s “Starve a Fever, Feed a Cold”?  I was raised on “Whatever the fuck it is, feed it and then let it sleep and then feed it more.”

My little (OK, adult, but still little to me) brother has the crud.  It’s not the flu, but worse than a cold, so I have named it The Blerghghghgh.  Basically, he feels like shit and does what our family does, which is hibernate as much as possible to make the Blerghghghgh go away.

Well, I couldn’t just do nothing, so I made soup today.  (Don’t get too excited, it was from a mix, I just added beef, and I wanted it just as much because it was 15º out – but it’s damn tasty.)  But when I went to the market to get the beef, a) I was hungry, and b) I had a sick little brother.  Wow, how that will make your 5 item grocery list expand exponentially.

“Beef for the soup” became…
— Orange Juice & white bread – at his request
— Cheese danish (It was on sale, he loves it, and what monster wouldn’t get a cheese danish for her sick little brother?!)
— Ginger Ale & Orange Soda
— Chicken Pot Pies
— Fully cooked chicken strips that can just be eaten straight out of the bag.  (OK, I might eat these if he doesn’t get to them first.)
— Various frozen microwave meals that might not be crazy healthy but taste good when you’re not feeling 100%.

Plus I made sure he knew where the Orange tea and honey* was – on the off chance he decides to make hot tea for the first time in his entire life.

This is my caretaking.  Flinging food at illness.

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Fairfax County & Snow!

I am weird in that I hate winter but love snow – as long as I don’t have to go out and try and get somewhere in it.  After forecasts of “a dusting to maybe an inch or so” – we woke up to this:

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Snow Day!

Now, it’s only 2 to 3 inches and supposedly the county pre-treated the roads last night (I didn’t see a single truck, but OK) – but listening to the various traffic reports and perusing the “closed roads” listings this morning, whatever they did – it didn’t work.  At all.  I’m quite grateful I don’t have to be in any specific place at any specific time today.

The extra bonus to this snow is that the plows can’t run unless there is more than 2 inches of snow, otherwise they’re just scraping up pavement.  According to VDOT Plows, my neighborhood is “in progress” – haven’t seen a truck yet.

So, enough snow to undo any pre-treatment but not enough to plow, and an entire county caught flat-footed = commutes from hell for everyone.  To top it all off – the schools opened on time.  Well, theoretically they opened on time.  Because school buses really help with traffic problems in winter weather.  I understand that it’s always a bit of a crapshoot and whatever the county decides, someone will bitch about it – but today was one of those days where at a minimum, a delayed opening would have probably been the right call.

Today is also a day where I am glad I keep my Christmas lights up – they’re so pretty in the snow!

It also leads to cuddling amongst the cats:

Carmen & Lily reluctantly share the sofa

Carmen & Lily reluctantly share the sofa

Hopefully the commute home won’t be as hellish for everyone as the commute into work was.

Note to employers:  Don’t make your employees drive on days like this if you can possibly avoid it.  Yes, business is business, but don’t make them risk their lives – and no one wants to wrap their car around a tree.

ETA: FCPS has issued an apology for not closing/delaying.  When storm systems come through in the wee hours like this, they’re just screwed no matter what they do…

FCPS Mea Culpa

FCPS Mea Culpa

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Pitt Police Chief… I’m OK with this

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Pitt Police Cheif, image via @CassandraRules on Twitter

But apparently the police union isn’t.

To me, vowing to challenge racism in your workplace is not a bad thing. Especially when the people at your workplace are armed and their racism can result in someone’s death.

There is nothing about that photo that says, “I work with a bunch of racists!” It says to me that the chief understands that the system is messed up, and we’ve got to start doing something about it. And where better to start than a declaration from the top?

If I worked anywhere and the folks in charge made this type of public statement, my first thought would NOT be, “He’s saying we’re all racists!” Pretty sure it would be something along the lines of, “Damn, that’s refreshing.” (When I was at the archives this fall, there was a call for essays and comments on the impact of Ferguson and other police incidents. I was blown away that they would even ask.)

I feel like the police union missed a good opportunity here – if they were serious about the importance of eliminating institutional racism, especially in police departments. I think a GREAT response would have been, “If any of our members are offended by the police chief’s action, they should probably take a good, hard look at themselves and ask why they feel threatened by the idea that racism in the workplace should be challenged.”

But the key word there is IF. IF they are serious about trying to fix things. And the response so far doesn’t give me much encouragement on that note.

What I’d love to see next is Pittsburgh police officers loudly and publicly supporting their chief through both words and actions.

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The broken blog isn’t broken anymore!

CafeChatNoir.net is back!  And the first post even has the wrong damn date because I didn’t get the time zone set right!

I’ll still be blogging here – the now not-busted blog with be a creative space for me, and anyone who follows. :)

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Year in Review Time!

Yeah, I didn’t think about until today… 2014 has been nothing short of a blur. And maybe a little flat. I guess that is life when you get older, right? But I have pictures.

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Happy Boxing Day

And, no, it does not mean you can punch a relative.  Nor does it mean box up the stuff that wasn’t quite right and take it back to the store.  It’s when folks got their Christmas Box, aka, Christmas bonus way back in the day.  (And that is your history lesson for the day.)

I hope everyone was able to have a lovely and peaceful Christmas.  Mine was just right.

My poor pets nearly lost their collective minds in the morning – they had seen (and smelled) their gifts on Christmas Eve, but I gave the bag & stocking to my brother to keep them out of it overnight.  He slept in.  The animals did not.

When he finally got up, presents were opened and we had a great leisurely brunch, followed by naps.  The evening was catching up on Doctor Who, and A Christmas Story, and looking through all my books.  We don’t do a fancy Christmas dinner – we’re stuffed enough from brunch and let me tell you – that takes the holiday stress down several notches.  (Amazon wish lists have made things ridiculously easier as well.)

I also got a surprise in my email inbox from one of my friends up in Connecticut in the form of Stories: All-New Tales for my Kindle – again, good job technology, and thank you Ashley!

Santa brought me tons of books – and even found one that wasn’t on my wish list – The Chesapeake House: Architectural Investigation by Colonial Williamsburg.  Considering I just got back from Williamsburg, it’s perfect.

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I hope you enjoy your Boxing Day and enjoy your gifts and some post-Christmas peace and quiet.

 

 

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My wish for you this holiday and for 2015

That you find the time and means to occasionally step back from the world and take care of yourself.

That you find justice for your losses.

That you fight for yourself and others when they (and you) need it the most.

That the toxic assholes in your life recede to the shadows, and if not, that you find the strength to kick them the hell out of your life.

That you find time and the means for your passions that pay dividends only in joy.  And may they somehow pay dividends you can pay the bills with as well.

That you finish the milk the day before it expires.

That you find happiness in unexpected places.

That a dog, cat, guinea pig, hedgehog or other sweet creature flings themselves into your lap going, “I LOVE YOU!!!!  WILL YOU LOVE ME BACK??!?”

That more often than not, you wake up thinking, “Damn, I got a good night of sleep.”

Tha you see many beautiful sunsets.

That your coffee is always the right temperature.

That whatever random thing you lost reappears right *before* you spend money to replace it.

That at your next medical appointment, the doctor says, “You’re fuckin’ awesome!”

That your pets (OK, cats) break less things this year than last, and that the broken things are minor and replaceable.

That you and your loved ones can let each other know that you care.

tha should you facepant into a pile of horse manure, that you come out smelling like roses.  (Or your non-manure scent of choice.)

That THAT relative takes it down a few notches at the next family dinner.

That you discover strength you never knew you had, and not because something awful happened.

That you find peace and joy.

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