Gawd, sleep is good

Posted on August 16, 2021 by A Dreamer

I slept like a rock last night – I could easily take another 12 hours of it, but this will work for now.

And I am actually looking forward to work – there is just nothing but sadness in the rest of the world right now, and 8 hours of testing a found-on-Friday weird edge case bug will do me good, cause otherwise, I will be sucked into being glued to the news. News that I can do nothing to change. Afghanistan, Haiti, Covid, all of it.

Just so many perpetual failures of leadership all over the place. I know I cannot ignore it all and pretend it’s not happening, but I do need to take a step back from it all. And I know I am insanely privileged that I can do that.

Take care of yourself, help where you can.

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Oof

Posted on August 15, 2021 by A Dreamer

I was already tired, but the universe has decided to test me with a minor household mess.

You see, when you live at the bottom of three hills, there is a suspected underground spring in the backyard, and your area gets 3″ of rain in an hour, there is a non-zero chance you may end up with the basement becoming slightly…damp.

But, things are under control. We dealt with the immediate issue last night, things were already drying out by the time we went to bed and we know what the next steps are. I just didn’t need that. (Not that anyone needs that.)

When I said I needed to probably throw myself into something to keep my mind off everything else – this was not exactly what I had in mind.

But, as I said, things are under control, and that’s something.

I also remembered to order a replacement title for the old Jeep so I can donate it. (The title is here *somewhere* but not where I thought it would be and I just don’t have the wherewithal to try and hunt it down when the DMV will send a replacement just for the asking and a mere $15.)

Well, since the universe has said, “you want something to focus on, I’m giving you housework” – guess I’ll set the timer and plow through the Tody list. Whee!

You enjoy the rest of the weekend and may it not get all damp.

ETA: Did a couple things around the house, ran an errand and then napped for 2 hours because I cannot remember the last time I was this bone tired. It is astounding how just an hour or two of adrenaline fueled “awwww, shit” handling of a minor crisis can just knock it all out of you. And we’re under another flash flood watch for tomorrow. Fuck.

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Meh

Posted on August 14, 2021 by A Dreamer

Despite the bump from stumbling into the mini-comicon today, I’ve been very Meh this afternoon and evening.

It’s a combination of sad, mad, a little depressed, and very, very tired.

And I know I’m not special – there is nothing unique about my situation. Hell, I’ve got it easy in many ways. But everyone is going through it. Everyone.

There is just so much going on, and so little I can change.

Pandemic. Haiti. Afghanistan. Sick kids. Things getting canceled for a second year. Constant risk assessments. One step forward, two steps back.

It’s a ton of little hits, and they just add up after a while, and it’s got me worn down tonight.

I should really throw myself into *something* during non-work time to give my mind something else to focus on. Writing, sewing, beading, something. But that also weirdly feels like hiding from reality. (I never said I was normal.)

But for now, I’m going to start with trying to get a good night’s sleep. That never hurts.

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I SAW PIKACHU!!

Posted on August 14, 2021 by A Dreamer

So, the local grocery store is in a tiny mall with a handful of other shops, one of which is a comic shop. And today, I walked in the lobby and they were having a whole ass comicon!

A tiny comicon, but a comicon none the less – tons of cosplayers, a DJ, arcade games, artists tables and PIKACHU! I should have gotten a picture, but I was too busy grinning ear to ear over the whole thing.

With everything going on, it was just a delightful little thing, and we need that.

And I just found out that the little fall festival is canceled again this year. I really hoped they could put it on, as it’s all outdoors, but they say they lost too much prep time.

But what a kick in the teeth. It’s small, but a really enjoyable way to spend a few hours.

This pandemic sucks.

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Goooood morning!

Posted on August 13, 2021 by A Dreamer

Another week where YOU gave the big ol’ middle finger to a pandemic and got through it.

Also – if you find yourself with cold symptoms that last more than, IDK, an hour – maybe send someone to Walgreens and snag a couple of those rapid home Covid tests. Someone I know on Fb posted about how summer colds suck (they do) and *literally* a half dozen people have posted about the crappy colds they’ve had this past week.

Um… Sure, they could be summer colds, we’re all worn down and susceptible to that kind of thing, but, there is this whole other mess going around and maybe you’d want to be sure it’s NOT Covid so you don’t accidentally pass it on? These are vaxxed folks, so I can only think it’s a case of, “I’m vaccinated, Covid would knock me on my ASS, so it must be a cold.” And I totally get that, but how you don’t at least think, “Hmmm….maybe I should check.”

Cut and color today, YAY. Don’t even mind masking up for it, cause at least between all of us being vaccinated & masked, we should be good to go. And I’ve got my snuggly knit handbag all loaded up. (I keep thinking come winter, I need a chunky cable knit sweater to go with it.) Still feel oddly guilty about the appointment, though. But, as I said, we are all vaxxed & masked, it’s not a wall-to-wall people place, and I don’t know how you get much safer than that other than just not going at all.

Delta has just put such a wrench in things for me mentally. (Obviously, it’s throwing other wrenches as well.) I’d finally started feeling like, “Hey, I can participate in society again here and there!” and now it’s, “Am I an ass for doing things, even masked up?”

I’m never going to be that asshat out protesting for a haircut – but these little non-critical personal care things that went out the window for a year and a half, it’s *nice* to have them back and I just don’t want things to get back to a point where I have to give them up again. And I feel very selfish for that. (I don’t want people to get sick either, to be clear – I just want to do normal things safely again.)

Get vaxxed, get a friend vaxxed, mask up, grab takeout, do things outside, and have a great and safe weekend.

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For the parents out there

Posted on August 12, 2021 by A Dreamer

I don’t know how you’re doing *waves arms wildly at ALL THIS* other than doing what parents do, which is take a deep breath and go, “Fuck it, I guess we’re doing this.”

If I had kids, I suspect I’d be completely losing my shit. “Oh, you want to play with your friends? No problem, LET’S JUST GET YOU INTO YOUR SPACESUIT!”

If you live somewhere with low vaccination rates and schools that aren’t stepping up with safety measures – I am so sorry. I don’t know how to convince people to get vaccinated and mask up for little kids if they don’t just do it on their own. And I don’t know what you do about the leadership that is utterly failing you right now.

While I am definitely one of those, “OK, not *everything* has to be for the kids” single-childless people but this, right now? THIS NEEDS TO BE FOR THE KIDS.

Even in my county, our vaccination rates are fairly good (but could be better) and there is a school mask mandate – I’d still be worried and pissed about that unvaccinated folks that might be wandering around the schools.

At least we can get teens vaccinated, and I’ve been reading that it sounds like we’ll at least have an EUA for kids 5-11 here soon. And when we have full approval for the vaccines for adults, I think there are going to be a lot more employer mandates for vaccination, so your kids will have more and more vaccinated people around them.

If you’ve had to cut unvaccinated people out of your life – good for you. It sucks, but with everything going on right now, it’s not a bad idea and you’re not a monster. And maybe it convinces a few more people to get vaccinated, and every last one counts.

Hang in there and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

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Guess what day it is?

Posted on August 11, 2021 by A Dreamer

Hump DAAAAAAAAAAY! And Crack O’ Dawn meeting Wednesday! *yawn* But, start at 7:30 – out at 4:30. Followed by a nap.

And Cuomo is out – did not see that coming. Figured he’d scream and cry until he was physically dragged from office. And as gratifying as it was to have someone tell TFG to fuck off – we don’t need any more sexpests in office.

Stupid Delta variant… County is in “substantial” transmission with 68 cases/100,000 people/week. Last time we were on a downward trajectory at this level, it took a week to get to “moderate” and a month to get to “low” – we gotta turn this around, and we did it once, we can do it again.

On a state level – we’re currently in high with 123/100,000/week. (The threshold is low <10, moderate 10-50, substantial 50-100, high 100+.)

PLEASE GET YOUR SHOTS AND TAKE A FRIEND! TAKE SEVERAL FRIENDS!

Fall trip to Williamsburg is out – that whole area is in a “high” status and I don’t see how that is down to a moderate/low point in a month and a half and since a big chunk of that trip is eating indoors…welp. Thing is – I have to take the PTO or I lose it, so I guess I’ll be checking out some local parks and outdoor eating spots or something that week. I don’t want this to just be a “sit at home and avoid housework” staycation.

I know we have bigger problems in the country, but I am bummed about it – it’s always an enjoyable trip, I like seeing how the programming has changed, there is something incredibly relaxing about being in a place with no cars, and I eat enough for three people.

So, maybe we’ll do that next spring or fall. Well, I’d better be able to do it next spring or fall, or I am going to be even more pissed off than I am now.

OK, time to go earn the PTO I have nowhere to use, LOL.

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Goooood morning!

Posted on August 10, 2021 by A Dreamer

Got myself a decent night’s sleep, so I am off to a chipper start to the day – hope you did, too. Weird dreams that I can’t remember now, but still a good sleep.

So, interesting convergence of themes on Twitter yesterday – empathy fatigue.

I think we’ve all got it – and it’s NORMAL. We’ve all had that person in our lives that we care about who is always asking for advice, never taking it, making terrible decisions and we just get to the point of, GODDAMMIT BECKY, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

That’s where we are with the willingly unvaccinated these days, and it’s bigger and sharper, because their actions are affecting SO many people, while the rest of us have done everything we can to protect our families/friends/communities and tried to be patient and understanding – but they’re killing people…

I will readily admit, I am past the “get your shit together” stage and and very much on the cusp of “Fuck ’em all” – but they’re taking so many people with them. One vaccine refuser that gets Delta and it’s a cascade. They’ve exposed their family, friends, and community. They’ve exposed folks who *cannot* get vaccinated. If they end up in the hospital, they’re pushing the already fragile health care system and health care workers past their limits. Covid beds replace beds for non-Covid urgent/intensive care needs. Someone gets in a car accident and all the hospitals are diverting.

These folks who are getting Covid now – it’s not happening in a vacuum. And I still care deeply about all the people around them who can’t escape their actions and decisions. And yes, it’s tiring. And I genuinely don’t know how we get them to care about how their decisions are hurting other people. So, I’m just screaming at the universe and hoping the FDA gets the vaccines to full approval sooner rather than later so that employers and school can mandate it, and maybe we get Thanksgiving this year.

And I’ve been wondering about the ethics of scheduling non-critical personal care appointments, even vaxxed & masked. Is it a dick move? But then I also thought, maybe I’m taking an appointment slot from an unvaccinated person… (No one locally is requiring proof of vaccinations.) I mean, fuck, I don’t know – all these places are going to be open (no way in hell is the state shutting things down again, cause THE ECONOMY) so maybe I flood the zone as a vaccinated person.

If you’re tired, if you’re having a really hard time caring – it’s normal. You’re not a monster. When you’ve done everything you’re supposed to do and look around and see this mess, and you’re being told you have to do more while the powers that be are dangling gifts in front of the unvaccinated – it’s disheartening to say the least. This has been the worst group project ever and it’s OK to be pissed and at the end of your rope with the folks who haven’t done shit.

Take a breath, take a break, focus on the small bits you can control. Hell, start a blog to bitch about things and get it out of your system – it’s done wonders for me.

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FMM

Posted on August 9, 2021 by A Dreamer

That’s Fuck Me Monday… Slept terribly last night – tossed and turned and all weird dreams. Just not the way you want to get the week started off. Also forgot to turn on the sunshine alarm, and I never really appreciate how easier that makes it to get up until it’s not turned on.

But, I did remember to make a pitcher of cold brew yesterday, so I was able to hit the snooze button a few extra times, so that’s something. And it’s a half-day Friday and payday week, so that lifts the mental load a smidge, too.

If I see another “vaccinated people shouldn’t be mad” take… The fuck we shouldn’t. “But Delta is new!” I am quite sure Delta wouldn’t have taken such a strong hold here had the willingly unvaccinated* either gotten their fucking shots or kept their masks on. And the folks in charge who thought, “oh, if we drop the mask mandates, the unvaccinated folks will get vaccinated so they can go maskless, too!” Fucking delusional. Have you BEEN here since last March?

I don’t appreciate the fact that I actually feel LESS secure AFTER vaccination. We shouldn’t be on the same trajectory we were last fall, with nothing but “recommendations” for masking.

The FDA had best get off their ass and get the fucking reviews done to get this out of EUA status. I don’t think that will suddenly change the “oh, but it’s *experimental*” crowd, but it will make a lot more employers mandate it. And that is what we need at this point.

Yes, being vaccinated & masked, I can at least maintain some small personal care things that I had to drop last year – haircuts, acupuncture appointments, maybe get my nails done, or a massage – but, I also wonder if I’m a dick for even doing those given how things are. Am I putting other people unnecessarily at risk even being vaccinated *and* masked up? Pardon me for being melodramatic, but I don’t want to inadvertently kill a kid.

In short, pandemics suck, and they suck even harder when you have leadership that is more worried about the economy than people.

*Not can’t get vaccinated due to medical reasons. Not can’t get access. The “I won’t” crowd.

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It’s not a problem if it helps, right?

Posted on August 8, 2021 by A Dreamer

Cause I think I might have a basket problem… But – they’re helping, so…

I have probably a dozen of these Target wire mesh baskets around the house – they’re awesome and I love them. They’re keeping the kitchen counter semi-under control. The cat toys are corralled. They’re great when I’m trying to clean and run across “oh, this belongs somewhere else, I know where I am going to put it, but if I do that now, I will lose momentum” – and then when I’m done, I redistribute the contents of the basket to where they belong.

Square metal mesh basket

Then I have two of these bigger baskets pictured below – I have one in the back of the car, it holds shopping bags, extra packages of hand wipes, tissues, roll of paper towels, windex packs, armor all packs and the extra cupholder – it’s perfect. Also for the car, I have one of the ones from above in the front seat with clean masks, hand wipes, tissues, etc. Easily moved if someone else needs to ride. The second big basket is holding all the vacuum attachments, and again, it is just the right size and keeps them all in one place, and I can easily carry it around.

Cloth lined square wicker basket

I also have some “shoebox sized” versions of the black square mesh ones, and today I realized I need a couple more for the linen closet, because I need something for soaps/shampoo/mouthwash, etc. I bought more bar soap today because it seemed that we were out and no…we already had several bars, and while they *were* in the linen closet, they were in opaque bags, and I didn’t look IN the bags. So, if all the bars of soap are just in a basket, then they don’t get hidden. But Target is sold out of them! Found some similar sized fabric lined ones, and Amazon had them cheaper, so those are on the way for the linen closet, and I can keep track of the soap.

It’s all a bit ridiculous, but it’s also working, so….

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