Good morning and happy 4th!

And kids, if you’re going to play with fireworks, be more careful than the fucking LAPD who had the audacity to tweet about fireworks safety after blowing up a truck full of confiscated fireworks on a residential street and injuring 17 people & causing a shit ton of damage. Dumbfucks.

We’ve got lovely weather here today for picnics and parades and in my case, housecleaning, LOL. Just gonna 20/10 my way throughout the house – thank you Unfuck Your Habitat for that one. It works well, and I do see results with it – when I am actually arsed to do it.

Here’s hoping I can keep it up *after* vacation as well – for now, I just want things to a point where I don’t collapse in a depressed heap when I get back from vacation, and then I can just continue to improve with a bit of work every day. Wouldn’t it be great to get into that habit?

I’ve never been a naturally neat & tidy person – even when I was a little kid, my room was *always* a disaster. My Mom just decided to pick battles and let that go. Thrown in a bit of likely ADHD, being easily overwhelmed, and mental health that has been all over the place in my lifetime, and yeah, there’s a mess. You’d think by the age of 49, housekeeping would be something I’d mastered, but… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

At least with the car, I am proving to myself that I can *keep* something clean. It’s just the getting it clean in the first place that’s the current challenge.

Still watching Elsa – still a tropical storm, and looks like it will continue to weaken and go over the NC coast Thursday night with 45-60 MPH winds and be well offshore by Friday morning. Let’s hope she quietly fizzles out.

And I’m realizing I’ve been putzing around so long that it’s no longer good morning, but good afternoon. And I wonder why I don’t get anything done around the house, LOL.

Off to clean! Enjoy the day and don’t blow off any fingers.

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*Contented sigh*

It turned out to be a pretty good week. I will certainly point to the benefit of not being overworked as a very large factor there. There is a lot to be said for not ending the week all wrung out.

New vacuum is fantastic and the amount of cat hair & dust and such it picks up is amazing. (And a bit embarassing.) Came with a ton of attachments, and I’ve got an adaptor coming to be able to use some of the attachments from the old vacuum that don’t have an equivalent on the new one. And it’s so much easier to use than the old one between the lighter weight and no cord.

When you detach the long wand to make it handheld, all the attachments can still be used, so you can actually use the regular sized beater brush and vacuum the floor sitting down. (Yes, I did part of the living room floor that way.) Honestly, I’d advertise that as an accessibility feature. Can’t stand for a long time but still need to vacuum? You can sit the fuck down and do it!

You do have to empty the dustbin on it more often than the old vacuum, but it’s so easy to do (and way easier than the old vac) that it’s no real problem.

Yes, I do love this vacuum. But hey, it’s a really good vacuum cleaner.

Got my hair done today and it looks great and the shampoo gal at the salon KNIT ME A WHOLE DAMN HANDBAG. She’d told me she’d made me something the last time I was in there – it would seem that the “I’m so sorry I have to cancel my appointment cause of the pandemic” big tip I left last spring was a bigger deal than I would have thought.

A knit handbag made with chocolate brown yarn
I have made a note to myself to make sure I use it when I go back in.

We’re keeping a close eye on Elsa… Thankfully it’s dropped to a tropical storm and will hopefully stay that way – it should be over Norfolk on Thursday afternoon and hopefully gone with minimal impact by Friday morning. Here’s to it just being a pain in the ass to folks and not damaging shit and hurting people and not fucking up my very much needed vacation.

And I’m thinking, since I’ve got Thursday off – I may go get a pre-vacation mani-pedi. Haven’t done that since summer before last and I found some pretty frosted yellow polish recently and snagged it – it looks like frozen lemonade.

The dudebro house across the street is having a party, which is fine, but thier taste in music is not great, LOL. Hearing some fireworks here and there, but not much, which is fine by me.

Didn’t really get much done around the house today, but it’s all good cause I still have TWO WHOLE DAMN DAYS OFF!

Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

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Woohoo, new vacuum!

Yes, it was actually in the box this time!

And I could see what happened last time.  The vacuum box is inside the cardboard shipping box, which is a sleeve, closed on one end and with just a tiny corner piece holding it all in on the other end. That corner piece was busted on the first box.

I ran out to meet the UPS driver – and he remembered delivering the flat box – he thought it had been sent to me as a return box.

It’s charging now and then I get to vacuum ALL THE THINGS!

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Well, hello half-day Friday!

And I was so prepared for this week to just smash me into the ground with the long weekend and upcoming time off, and yet, at around 10AM yesterday, I was caught up on everything on my to-do list. I can’t remember the last time that happened. So, I spent the rest of the day getting ahead on my Q3 training hours and it was super relaxing.

Today just all depends on what my developers did yesterday – and one is on vacation (and the other one might be, too, now that I think about it) so it may be a day of finishing all my Q3 training hours.

I can deal with that. Every job should have dead days every now and then. Staffing levels everywhere should have everyone *slightly* underworked – so when folks do go on vacation or are sick or there’s an unexpected crunch, everyone can pick up the slack without killing themselves, cause they’re not already stressed out from overwork.

We should all be able to occasionally look around and go, “Damn, everything is done!”

And my new vacuum should arrive today! (Again!) And one of the first things I’ll be doing after getting it charged up is converting it to handheld mode and vacuuming out the car.

Yes, I am that person now about my car. In my defense, I’ve not had a new vehicle for 18 years and I am bound and determined to prove to myself that I can keep *one* thing neat and tidy in my life.

I also figured out how to change the dash display and now I can see the outside temp (it’s finally dropped) and – and this is so cool – how many miles I have left until I have to get gas. While I’m not one to wait until it’s running on fumes to go fill up, it’s very cool to be able to easily see that “Oh, I’ve got 50 miles left, so I’m definitely good for a while given that my ‘commute’ is to Starbucks.”

Well, time to go see what the day will entail – I hope you have a Friday you can cruise right through and have a great weekend.

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Well, that’s no fun.

My new vacuum cleaner was supposed to arrive today, but instead, I got an empty box. :(

The box was perfectly flattened along the seams, so whoever delivered it must have just thought it was artwork or something that was supposed to be flat and didn’t notice that the sticker said it was supposed to be 15 pounds. The ends appeared to not have been taped and the vacuum must have slid right out at some point in transit.

Target was great, refunds were immediately issued, a reorder was placed, and it should now arrive on Friday. (Of course, I’m suddenly thinking I should have had it shipped to the local store so if it happens again, it is their problem, not mine.)

It’s too hot to do any housework except first thing in the morning anyway this week.

And of course, long weekend & then vacation ahead means there is a work deadline tomorrow, LOL.

All the outstanding bugs for the version we’re relasing this fall are supposed to be done by tomorrow.

Now, I’ve only got three left, thank you testing and dev goddesses. One will definitely be done tomorrow morning, the second could be done tomorrow if everything goes right, otherwise Thursday. The third, well, Those Who Need To Know have been told, “I swear it will be done before I go on vacation.” and it is understood that I will get it done.

So, on the whole, I am far less pre-vacation stressed on the work front than I usually am, which is nice.

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Goooooood morning!

It’s gonna be a blazer out there today pretty much everywhere – stay inside if at all possible, drink fucktons of water, and take it easy if at all possible. We’re only getting into the 90s today w/ a heat index of 98 – looking at the west coast forecast, it’s positively cool in comparison.

We’re looking at highs in the 90s through Thursday. Throws a bit of a wrench into the idea of clearing up the carport a bit this week, but fortunately there isn’t much to be done, but it now is shoved off until the weekend. Not great for upstairs indoor housework either – I don’t keep the a/c set particularly low as it is, and it’s always warmer up there. It’s fine for just sitting at a laptop, but not great for any kind of physical work that’s going to last more than a few minutes.

It’s so dishearting to watch these forecasts out west and know that folks *will* die because of it, and yet we have folks in Congress who either don’t think climate change is real, or just don’t care because, hey, their a/c works just fine.

Stay safe & cool this week my friends.

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Another Sunday night

Where I am thinking that we as a country REALLY need to go to a 4 day work week.

But, this week we have a half day Friday, payday, and then a two day workweek next week and it is off to the beach. No work email, Teams notifications turned off, just happily existing by the ocean.

Which also means the next 11 days I will be trying to CLEAN ALL THE THINGS. And I will be attempting to do this without making myself completely exhausted and so utterly done with cleaning that I don’t do any maintenance and in two months the place looks like tornado hit it again. (This is a recurring theme for me.)

I did manage to get a bit done around the house today – I did pare down the to-do list, but got everything knocked off it for the day, which is a nice feeling. Even got in a yoga session, which I’d been slacking off on, and they’ve added “Yoga for Anxiety” – not sure if it does any more for anxiety than any other session, but it was a good one.

The plan, such that it is – 15 minutes in 3 rooms per day during the week, cause time/energy… Then get everything finished off over the long weekend. Given that I’ve got a terrible problem with *stuff* all over the place, I’m also just kinda giving in and I’ve got these great totes that I am going to use for “crap I don’t know where to put right now but I want to clear it up so I can vacuum” and then I can tackle the totes themselves at a later date.

Yes, it is kicking the can down the road, but it will at least be kicked down the road in a nice, blue, zipped up tote, LOL.

The new vacuum is going to be seriously put through its paces. It should be here Wednesday, and it won’t be a moment too soon.

But before any of that – sleep.

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OK, Universe, thanks?

No sooner did I hit the Target checkout button and say out loud that the old vacuum would just stay upstairs by the litter box and never be lugged around again…

I knocked over a plant, nice pile of dirt on the floor.

Hauled vacuum down, plugged it in, fired it up.

No suction. Well, slight suction. Very slight. Very, VERY slight.

I didn’t expect the purchase of the new vacuum to be justified before it even arrived.

But, 16 years is a good run for a vacuum cleaner and it served me very well.

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I. Am. Old.

I have decided to buy a new vacuum cleaner, and I am far too excited about it. I have a 16 year old Dyson and while it does still work, it is nearing its end. It’s an upright and it’s been a great vacuum, but it’s heavy and kinda unwieldy, so this time around, I’m going with yet another Dyson, but this time one of the cordless stick models – they even convert to handhelds. How nifty is that?!

It will be nice to be able to use it without having to worry about being close enough to a power outlet, YAY!

The old Dyson will stay in service in one spot dealing with the litter that the LilyMonster loves to throw all over the place.

Sadly, tho, the new one is not in stock at any of the nearby Targets, so it has to be shipped, so I won’t have it until Wednesday. :(

I will also admit I am laboring under the delusion that having a new, powerful, easier to handle vacuum will inspire me to get things cleaned up around here so I can use it, LOL.

But as I said, I am far too excited about this.

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Well that was a hella day

So, slogged through the crack of dawn meetings, and had a fuck all anxiety spike towards the end of the second one (thanks management for putting me in a position I am not qualified for!) and fuck if it didn’t turn into a full on spiral. That hasn’t happened in, fuck IDK, years. Went kinda like this:

Smart Brain (SB): Damn, anxiety sucks and hoo boy, this is not fun today.
Dumb Brain (DB): Or, we’re dying.
SB: No, what we are feeling is the physical manifestation of anxiety, it is an icky adrenaline spike, it sucks, but It. Is. Anxiety. Probably with a side order of slight dehydration, because we’re perpetually a little dehydrated.
DB. PROBABLY DYING.
SB: FFS, we can breathe fine, our lips aren’t blue, our face isn’t grey, we have no pain in our back, arms, chest, anywhere, it’s shitty assed anxiety.
DB: DEFINITELY DYING.
SB: Jesus fucking christ.

Drank a bunch of water, whipped out the meditation app, 5 minutes of deep breathing tamped things down a bit. (Yo, dumb brain, breathing exercises tend to not stop imminent death.) Got to lunch, did yoga, also helped a little. Then I remembered: I have diazapam. Not sketchy shit bought in the alley behind the bar, but actually properly prescribed to me by a doctor diazapam. Prescribed for anxiety.

Granted, it was prescribed in the context of dental appointments and I tried it twice and discovered that diazapam + nitrous oxide = vomiting, so the little bottle has just languished in the cabinet.

I am not one to self medicate like this, but I decided to take a half tablet at lunch. I mean, hell, it was prescribed to me FOR ANXIETY. Figured if it didn’t do shit, no harm, if it wiped me out, I could call out of the last couple hours of the day, and best case scenario, it could maybe stop my body & brain from fight or flight mode.

Holy shit, it worked. Kicked in pretty quick – felt a little floaty for a moment or two when I stood up to go back to work, but not at all incapacitated, not “high”, was able to work through the last hour and a half of the day (early start, thankfully early finish) and then took a snooze with the LilyMonster once I’d logged off for the day and woke up feeing SO MUCH BETTER.

It’s like it just reset everything. Felt fine the rest of the evening, had a decent nights sleep, and woke up this morning feeling totally NORMAL.

Hopefully it will be quite a while before I have another day like yesterday, but knowing there is a solution in the cabinet, hell, that helps.

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