We’ve got a very light cool rain going right now, and honestly – it’s not terrible. The birds are singing, and the lawn mowers are silent. Kinda nice – everything is just calm and quiet.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to really dislike noise. Especially lawn mowers – and that’s usually all you hear on a weekend morning, so this is very pleasant. I am truly turning into a cranky old lady, LOL – I don’t even like it when our lawn guys come around on Mondays, despite how much I appreciate their work.
But in things that do NOT make me cranky – my beloved Padres are actually doing well this season! 3 game win streak – two against the Mets, who apparently good this season (who knew?!) and 2nd in the NL West. Of course this week has been all 9:40PM games, which is painful when your alarm is set for 6AM.
My big exciting plan for the weekend is to hunt down a small old-school metal trash can for used charcoal (I found the perfect one on Amazon and it never arrived) and try to break out of what I can only describe as “housework paralysis” – executive dysfunction is real and annoying as fuck.
To realize in your late 40s that you probably have undiagnosed ADHD is…something. This is where social media and the internet is good – so many people sharing their experiences gives you those, “Oh.” moments. When I was a kid, ADHD and related issues were only starting to be widely diagnosed – and really not at all in girls.
At least in retrospect, my parents weren’t shitty about it when I was a kid. I didn’t get a lot of “you have potential” BS and got a ton of “just do your best” and I think they just decided that they had a daughter who was pretty decent and caring and so what if she was kinda scattered and disorganized. And in adulthood, someone – I can’t remember who now – told me, “You just have a lot going on in your brain that is more important than housework.” While it may not have been exactly what was happening in my brain, but I really appreciated it.
I go back and forth on whether or not I should pursue a diagnosis. I’m oddly OK at work – I think in no small part from working remotely simply because I have less distractions when I work and I can focus fairly well. But when it comes to the house…hooooooboy. Everything is a distraction and I can find anything and everything to do before housework.
From what I hear, getting a diagnosis is hard, in no small part because of assumptions of med chasing. I do love that joke: Docs: “You’ll get addicted to ADHD meds” ADHD folks: “LOL, I forgot to take my meds.”
I don’t know if trying to get a diagnosis would be worth it just to make it easier to keep house. Not sure if working more on my coping mechanisms is actually harder or easier, but given the state of American healthcare, coping is probably cheaper and easier. I wonder what it’s like to live somewhere with functioning support systems that are actually accessible and affordable.
Welp, on that dysfunctional mental processing musing, it’s time to pry myself off the sofa and go run some errands. Market, Garden Center, Drug Store, possibly Hardware Store and if that – the TexMex spot next door – because errands deserve empanadas.
Miss Lily is an adorable mood this morning and hopes you have a calm and soothing Saturday.