Yesterday was oddly hard. Or frustrating, not sure the best way to describe it.

I should preface this with the disclaimer that on the whole, the pandemic has been pretty easy for me. I don’t have kids or elderly relatives to worry about, I already worked remotely, giving up non-essential services and most in-person shopping has been a no brainer, and the only real sacrifice I’ve had to make is putting my social life on hold, which wasn’t that exciting to start with. I can still get to the grocery store, and takeout is available all over the place. Lazy weekends are my JAM.

I know I am insanely lucky. I am acutely aware of the toll this has taken on others. None of this is to minimize the hurt and loss that folks have gone through in this country.

But hoo boy, yesterday, I was climbing the walls.

I can only think it’s the time of year – normally now I’d be making a trip to the mall just to see if there was some surprise gift still out there, definitely wave to Santa, maybe go to the little riverfront shops, have lunch at the wine shop. Things I am absolutely not doing this year.

Then there are the kitchen towels. I know you’re going, “WTF does that have to do with anything?” I ordered three packs of kitchen towels from Target, since I’m anticipating more panic buying of paper goods, and they have a weird tendency to disappear in this house. (I assume they’re with the socks.)

One set, turns out they’re a flat weave and not terribly absorbant. (Hoping a wash will help.) Another set, microfiber, and two of the four in the pack have the WORST MOST AWFUL TEXTURE EVER. Third pack, thankfully, nice, normal kitchen towels. Things you just can’t really tell very well when you’re looking at them online.

If I could have just gone to Target, I could have easily weeded out the not great ones. But I have never in my life been able to get in and out of that place in under 15 minutes, so it’s off limits for the time being.

Just a day of “THIS IS ALL STUPID AND IT SUCKS AND I HATE IT.”

Then of course I felt guilty cause I’ve got it easy. But, it IS all stupid and it sucks and I DO hate it. And if you’re having those days, too – it’s OK.