Why I am not on Neighborhood Watch…

Because I am not good at realizing there are crimes in progress…

Last night at roughly 3:45 am, something woke me up. I am on call this weekend, so once I realized it was not the phone ringing, I decided the LilyMonster must have knocked something over in a bid for a late night snack.

Then I looked out the window, and see my neighbors truck and a car behind it, parked on the street (normal) and both vehicles have the lights on. OK, their kids must have just got in (they come and go at all hours, cause they’re young and have energy) and someone dropped something getting out of the car or truck and that must have been what I heard. (Hazard of sleeping with the windows open.)

Try to go back to sleep. Hear a car start, doesn’t sound great, but there are a couple cars in the immediate vicinity of the house that rattle a bit and could probably use new fan belts. Sounds like it’s driving over some glass. Well, if someone dropped a bottle getting out of the car or truck…

Then as it goes up the street, I hear a bang – good lord that car really needs a tune up if it’s backfiring like that.

Try again to go back to sleep. Not long after that, I hear knocking on a door, look out the window again. There are two cop cars on the street and one is knocking on my neighbors door. I notice the truck lights are still on as well, which is a little odd.

This is when I fully realize what I heard. What woke me up was the car plowing into the back of the truck – to the point where it pushed it up on the curb, and somehow turned the truck lights on. (Sorry to have blamed you, Lily.). And finally seeing the debris behind the truck, the truck definitely won. (This is a near 30 year old truck, with nary a piece of fiberglass on it.)

The rattles and fan belt squeaks I heard was from a car that really should not have been able to start given all the pieces it left behind. The “backfire” was it sideswiping another car two houses up. (I think it belongs to the neighbors who moved in last year. Welcome to the neighborhood.)

So I wander out, check my brothers car, which fortunately is unscathed from the incident. Ask the cops how many cars got hit – two that they know of, and they were going up the street to see if there were any more.

I don’t know if they caught the guy last night and were retracing his route to find the path of destruction or were on regular patrol and noticed the truck pushed up on the curb and pieces of car behind it. If they haven’t found the driver yet, the car shouldn’t be too hard to find, as it is also missing a bumper – saw that further up the street this morning when I went to Starbucks.

Had I realized I was seeing a car that had hit my neighbors truck last night and not just a couple parked cars on the street, I would have called it in, and I might have been able to save my other neighbors from an insurance claim and the associated hassle, so I feel a little bad about that. But it was dark, and my cognitive skills at 3:45 am aren’t all that awesome.

This is the second time in recent memory this has happened – last time they took out multiple cars up the street, and also hit my neighbors truck. (I heard him say, “Are you kidding me? Again?” when he came outside.) I don’t know if either time it was someone thinking they wouldn’t get caught on a neighborhood street, or someone actually living on this or a connecting street, but it’s not a narrow street, and you’d have to be pretty fucked up to not be able to keep away from the parked cars.

Kids, Uber is your friend. They may have shit-tastic management and the gig economy sucks, but it’s better than wrecking your car, hitting at least two others, and definitely getting arrested.

Also, reason #349 to move to OBX. No street parking.

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