What a week.

So, last Friday, I talked with the manager about the testing job, and Monday morning I got an email saying he’d gotten the OK to extend an offer and that he was really excited to have me on the team. Did NOT expect a turnaround like that.

My current manager was not as excited. We may have violated some unknown procedure in that I guess she was supposed to be notified that I was interested in the other position? (And really, fuck that, as upset as she was, I don’t trust that someone in my management vertical wouldn’t have tried to block the whole thing before it started had they known anything ahead of time.) Once she realized how fast it happened and no one was being sneaky or underhanded, she calmed down quite a bit.

As it is, apparently managers above her were trying to figure out ways to make me stay. And it’s not like they can undo all the changes the VP of our vertical made in the last year, and it seems like every concern our team has brought up has been ignored, so…

She did manage to wrangle a TWO MONTH transition. No, you’re not misreading that.

And of course over the course of the week, my decision has been justified with various shenanigans that make you go, “Seriously?”

But, in two months, on to new things, and hopefully a position where I’m not 110% utterly fucking exhausted at the end of the day.

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I am officially under consideration for the testing job.

When I talked to the manager about it, he seemed very excited that I was interested in it, and loved my experience from prior to being with this company, and the last thing he said was that he was going to go talk to his manager about things.

Haven’t mentioned any of this to my current boss, as there is no sense in creating a lot of hate and discontent over something that may not even happen.

But, right now I am cautiously optimistic.

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The wheels of corporate do grind a bit slow…

A week and a half after starting the process of trying to find out the salary for the testing job, I am finally in possession of the pay bands and manager name. And it doesn’t pay half of what I make now.

So, now, time to get some titanium ovaries and email the manager and find out if they’ve already scoped out who they want and if the announcement is just for show or not. And pray it doesn’t get back to my bosses just yet.

No harm in asking, right?

ETA: Sent the email. I’ve either just done something very brave or very stupid.

ETA: Manager says he would be happy to discuss if I am interested – and the job focus is actually on the two sections of the software that are absolutely my wheelhouse. Today’s task will be polishing up my resume – good news is that the last update to it was only 18 months ago, so really just need to add on the duties I acquired after my promotion last fall.

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Yesterday, I was still trying to process what happened in Gilroy. Who shoots up a garlic festival? (We know, the answer is repeatedly the same – violent white supremacists.) All of these shootings have bothered me – this one, the six year old that was killed, that hit hard for some reason.

Then my phone buzzed. El Paso. 20 people killed. We can’t even be sure of how many may have been injured, because people are afraid to go to the hospital because ICE or Border Patrol may be there. People just going to a fucking Wal Mart for school supplies and groceries. You don’t get much more mundane than that.

This morning, I wake up to the news of Dayton. Right now, 9 killed, 26 injured. People just enjoying a Saturday night out.

While we don’t know what happened with Dayton yet, we know what was going on with El Paso. And Gilroy. And Poway. And Pittsburgh. And Charlottesville. And so many others.

Violent white supremacy. And it’s being stoked by this administration and it’s killing people. (People of color in this country are understandably going, “No shit, this isn’t new.”)

When 45 was campaigning, I recall thinking, “He’s not just going for the garden variety racists. He’s courting white nationalists.” And at the time, while I certainly knew that we still had these horrific people in our midst, I had no idea how many. I also couldn’t imagine that he’d be elected. Nor did I know how to even address white nationalism/white supremacy – and I still can’t say that I do know how to address it.

White supremacy isn’t just idiots in the backwoods. It’s at the top of our Executive branch. It’s in our policies. (You can’t tell me that making people afraid to seek medical help after a mass shooting because of ICE isn’t a goal of white supremacy.). It’s in our law enforcement agencies. It’s in our schools. It’s at its worst on the internet.

8chan needs to be nuked from orbit. It’s not a hub for free speech, or vaguely unpopular or radical ideas. It’s a space for encouraging, planning, and cheering on violence against people of color.

The best we’ve gotten out of the GOP beyond the usual useless “thoughts & prayers” are mumblings about mental health. (Not that they’ve ever done a damn thing about mental health care in this country anyway.)

White nationalism is not a mental health issue. They’re just throwing people with mental illness under a bus to pretend they’re trying to identify the cause, yet never doing anything.

We need to do something about white supremacy in this country, and do something about the fuckton of guns available to these violent, hateful people.

There isn’t anywhere safe anymore for people to just exist without the risk of some white supremacist asshat afraid of being “replaced” showing up with an AR-15 so he can impress other white supremacist channers with how many people he’s killed.

We need to deplatform white supremacists, enact actual gun control, get white supremacists out of office and law enforcement, get their policies out of our government, and call all of this what it is: Domestic white nationalist terrorism.

The problem is – I have little faith that any of this will actually happen.

Posted in Gun Control, News, Racism | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

I need to get the fuck out of this town.

So, I’m on Nextdoor, for reasons I cannot even begin to explain, but OK.

Earlier this week, a woman a few neighborhoods over posts. She’s been in the hospital for a month, and some things have had to slide – like yardwork, because of the whole IN THE HOSPITAL A MONTH bit.

Well, she’s been getting anonymous hate mail because the grass has grown.

Yes, you read that right. Anonymous hate mail over GRASS.

So, yes, I need to get out of this fucking town for a couple reasons.

Obviously, hate mail over grass. FFS, assholes, get a life beyond your goddamn lawn.

Second – no one knew she was in the hospital because NO ONE KNOWS THEIR NEIGHBORS AROUND HERE. It’s part because people are busy, part because these houses are designed in such a manner that you don’t easily run into your neighbors, and finally, there is ZERO sense of community here. I’m not exaggerating – absolutely zero.

If you don’t have kids who go to school with other neighborhood kids, there is nothing connecting you to anyone else here.

It just blows and I’m tired of it and I need to get away from it.

Lily, a black and orange tortoiseshell cat, caught mid yawn in a grocery tote


Tip Jar to help me get away

Posted in Miscellany, Musings, Rants | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Much to think about this week…

I have been doing this job for ~6 years. 3 years, then a hefty gap, and now coming up on another 3 years in another month and a half.

I love the work – I love figuring out why the software isn’t doing what we expect it to do. I love noodling around with data to get to that “Here’s the problem!!” moment.

The work is one thing. The job…well, the job has become utterly fucking exhausting. Our staffing has gone a bit to shit, as we’ve been losing senior people through normal attrition (you just cannot do this job forever) and they’re hard to replace, and it’s put quite a lot of pressure on those that remain.

When I started, senior management said they were actively working on keeping senior staff off blind incoming call duty as much as possible. The opposite has happened and near half my day is doing blind incoming calls.

I’m on call 8 times in 2019, including the week of Christmas. This means availability overnights and the weekend, for an amount of overtime pay that is…not really good enough to be stuck at home praying that the phone doesn’t ring. And it usually has me burning a day of leave the Monday after so I can actually have a day off, since it trashes the weekend.

And leave…we have two subgroups in the department, and only two people from each subgroup can be off on any given day. That makes scheduling time off colorful to say the least. I’m putting in leave requests 9 months to a year in advance right now to have a chance at them getting approved before someone else gets the day.

And beyond leave, there’s just no flexibility. Your hours are set, your lunch is set. Coming in early just means a longer day. Stay late and you’re not getting that time back either. 9/80? Not happening.

And we’ve gotten a flood of untrained new clients, which just makes everything harder. They’re angry because changing software sucks, and there is only so much we can do before we have to tell them that we can’t train them.

This weekend I saw that there are two brand new openings in testing. Testing, the thing I do every day. The description stresses product knowledge over testing software knowledge, and states most testing will be manual. So, that is very me. This has always been a direction I thought I could eventually go in, since I knew I couldn’t do this forever. (Look at me kinda thinking ahead for once in my career.)

There would be no on call. Little, if any, client interaction. Work schedule flexibility. No racing to beat someone else for time off. No annual conference. At least 3 holidays a year that I wouldn’t be working.

Sure, there would be a learning curve for automated testing, but I know the product, and I know how clients use it, and I know how to manually test things.

But if I apply for it, word is eventually going to get back to my bosses. If I got it, they’ll be understandably annoyed with me, but I’ll be out of sight, out of mind soon enough. If I don’t get it…I’ll be the asshole who wanted to leave and who knows the long term consequences of that.

Well, I’ve sent the email to compensation to find out what the pay band is. We shall see.

Tip Jar

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Another vacation comes to an end

And despite my brain being an ass (and forgetting to post this last week), it’s was pretty darn good. Already counting down til next year. A mere 345 days.

– Great weather, if a little hot.

– Quite a lot of beer consumed with no hangover.

– Pato motherfucking Tacos

Pato (duck) tacos in a flour tortilla in tinfoil

Pato Tacos from Coastal Cravings

– Shrimp & Grits

A plate of shrimp and grits

Shrimp & Grits from the RoadSide Cafe

A plate of shrimp and grits

Shrimp & Grits from Coastal Provisions

– Ocean temps that didn’t induce a cardiac incident.

Gif of Ocean Waves

Ocean Waves

Tip Jar

Posted in Coastal Cantina, Coastal Provisions, Food, OBX, Photos, Pleasant Things, RoadSide Cafe | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment