Musings of a marginally sane feline-appreciating female.

And apparently traumatizing enough that I don’t remember SHIT about it. Glad I took pictures and wrote things down.

I think the closest thing I did to personal growth was taking the fused glass class, which was awesome.

We lost my beloved Lily, but gained Sean and Jorge. I think she would find it fitting that it took two cats to fill the void she left.

Got a new dryer, yay!  Got Covid, booooo.

Went to the beach and Baltimore.  Ate so much good food in both places.

Lots of arts and crafts fairs! Many nice Saturday mornings at the farmers market.

Finally saw an aurora!!!

We shall not speak of November.

Work was work.

Had a lovely Christmas.

So, not all bad by any means.

We are in that “what day is it” holiday space and coming back from the coffee shop, I see a gentleman walking his dog. He is in khakis, a buttondown, and blazer. SIR, I WAS PRETTY SURE IT WAS SATURDAY AND YOU’RE OUT HERE DRESSED FOR WORK.

Yes, it is Saturday, whew.

Last night my brother & I went for dinner at a friends house, and it was great – good food, we played Monopoly and no one cried or flipped the board*, and my friend Amy got me this mug – she KNOWS me:

It was good to talk with another gal about this shitshow – we both thought that white women were at least in agreement that bleeding out on an ER floor is bad and this administration would make more of that happen, but NOPE.

Christmas was lovely around these parts. Excellent brunch, great presents, and most importantly – Jorge & Sean had an awesome day! They got toys, and each got a blanket of their very own, and a whole bunch of brown crinkly packing paper.

On the US shitshow that is the incoming administration – the Republican base appears to be turning on the techbros, which is not the worst thing, I guess? Laura Loomer, who isn’t exactly the most rational or stable of folks, has lit into Musk & Ramaswamy for wanting to expand H1B visas. If she is in the same room as either one of them, she’s gonna shank someone.

Broken clocks and all that, but she has a point. Granted, she doesn’t want more H1B folks cause she’s racist trash – I don’t want them because employers use the process and visa holders to exploit workers. But at least someone gets that they are NOT on our side? Sort of?

I also didn’t appreciate Ramaswamy’s “American parents are trash and immigrant parents are better” tirade – dude, that “superior” childrearing you’re describing? It’s just abuse. But it does turn out kids who become adults who cower at any perceived authority, so I see why you’d like it.

Such weird fucking times.

My plans for the remainder of 2024 is googling “what activities are bad luck on New Year’s Eve/Day” and making sure I’m NOT doing them. (Sure, they’re all old wives tales, but why take chances?) May also finally crack open the “anti-planner planner” I ordered a while back. It was recommended by a fellow ADHD’er and true to form, I ordered it, misplaced it, found it, and have just glared at it every time I walk by it.

I also need to hit up Kohls for my moisturizer. I am trying very hard to avoid Amazon, because of the strike and Jeff Bezos being an unrepentant ass. But it so often feels like I’m just trading one huge, shitty multinational firm for another one, and Amazon has just fucked up everything so badly. Oh that thing you needed this week? The only place that carries it locally is closed until January 2nd, the other place that has it online costs 2x as much and won’t arrive for 12 days.

So, 2025 will also be the year of planning better in buying so I am getting things locally, and preferably not from Walmart, even though it’s probably gonna cost more in actual price, and time hauling around to find shit. But let’s be honest, 2025 will also probably be the year of “buying as little as possible” because nothing will be affordable.

Alright, enough dithering about on the sofa, it’s time to go face Kohl’s the weekend after Christmas. Spare a thought for me. (Yes, planning better is definitely something I need to do in 2025.)

Enjoy the rest of your Saturday!

* Amy won the game, but when we eat all the rich, she will be exempted, she was exceptionally generous in buying other players properties, routinely paying 2x market price, LOL.

You made it and that is worthy of a high five and a pat on the back. Well done! And it is candy and cookie season and if you had that for breakfast, I am sure as hell not gonna judge you for that.

And here is a Jorge in the (not really) FORBIDDEN ROOM to celebrate the end of the week!

We still have roughly 9 hours to avert a government shutdown here in the US – we’ll see what happens there. If the R’s can come up with a CR that isn’t complete shit and doesn’t cut things like CHILDHOOD CANCER RESEARCH, I’m OK with the Dems going along with it. But I see no need for Democrats to help the Republicans out of their devils deal with Trump and Musk – the R’s have enough votes on their own, if they can’t get it done, that is on the Republicans, no matter how many times they try to say otherwise.

If we shut down because at least some Republicans don’t want to kiss Elon’s unelected ring – fine. We just need everyone to understand – THIS IS NOT A DEM SHUTDOWN. And I am totally confident that the media will report it as such. HAHAHAHAHA.

I swear, if I had to go back and try to explain all this to a younger me, I think younger me would say, “Are you high?” and I’d have to be honest and say “Well, weed is legal in Virginia and I did have an edible last night, but it isn’t so much a “high” as a very slow acting imperial stout, and I took it like about 15 hours ago, so it’s all done by now, and yes, it’s ALL THAT FUCKED UP AND WEIRD WHICH IS WHY I GOT THE EDIBLES.”

Yes, I did finally try the edibles last night – since I don’t have anything on my plate today, it seemed a good low stakes window to give them a whirl in case I had an unpleasant reaction*. I have 5mg dark chocolate (cause I hate gummy anything) and while there was a slight weedy undertaste, they’re like, 2 bites, so that doesn’t even last. If there was any “high”, I slept through it, LOL. I did feel a little calmer, but the biggest thing I noticed was somewhere between the 1 and 2 hour point that my jacked up arm and shoulder wasn’t hurting at all. (The 2 hour mark was when I said, “I am pleasantly tired, I am going to bed.”)

And the thing is, I know what I’ve needed is just a damn muscle relaxant to keep my arm/shoulder from being too tense to heal up, but I also know that walking into a medical facility and asking for a muscle relaxant will get you major drug-seeking side-eye. Why it did not occur to me that the THC in marijuana can act as a muscle relaxant is beyond me, especially when I know so many people that use it for pain management. Even today, my arm is still feeling pretty good, probably cause I wasn’t unconsciously tensing it up all night in my sleep.

So yeah, 2 thumbs up on the edibles, and I think my timing of “take 12 hours before you need to be functional” is good – I slept well, no weird aftereffects this morning when I got up, and my resting heart rate overnight was as low as it has been in a month. As someone brought up with Nancy Reagan screaming “Just say no!” – it’s still really weird to me that this is all legal now.

Christmas prep continues, and the only thing left to do outside the house is getting a danish for Christmas Day. One item has had a shipping delay, so I checked online to see if it is available in a brick & mortar shop, but no, so my brother may be getting a New Year’s Eve gift. Inside the house, it’s just doing a clear up in the living room, and wrapping presents. Feeling ridiculously ahead of things this year – which is good, cause like everyone else, I could use something to feel good about.

Enjoy the rest of your day, have a great weekend, and if you’re celebrating next week – have a great time!

* I was once given some kind of anti-anxiety med before a sedation dental procedure. It was supposed to make me calm & relaxed, but it made me angry & paranoid and I almost punched a dental tech – so I’m very wary of anything that supposedly is calming.

And not a moment too soon, cause my stress levels are a bit on the high side, and I fear I’ve been on the snippy at work, so an extended break is not a bad idea.

Though, I can’t imagine why I’d be at all stressed, it’s not like we’re staring into a black hole of not knowing WTF is going to happen in this country other than it is probably gonna be bad, with the bonus of our CEO making a few somewhat boneheaded comments that left me going, “Dude, WTF?” (Nothing bad, just very tone deaf.)

Life with President Elon is super fun so far. We’ve got 30 some odd hours to avert a government shutdown because that unelected jackass won’t shut up and just mind his own business, and he probably thinks this is all fucking hilarious.

Proof positive that the existence of billionaires is a policy failure.

I really, REALLY need the Furry Hacker Mafia, Techie K-Pop fans, and Techie Swifties to clear out all his accounts and break all his toys. He needs to be sad and broke. And the inevitable infighting that is going to make Trump throw him under a bus cannot come soon enough.

Then we have dipshit Rand Paul floating the idea of Musk as Speaker of the House, with some on the left going, “Do it! Just make everything awful to prove the point!” So much for principals of harm reduction, I guess.

This level of uncertainty is…a lot. I don’t really know how to describe it, but damn, I spent the bulk of my formative years under the constant threat of nuclear annihilation and honestly, that was less stressful than this.

I keep reminding myself that my situation is reasonably stable, and though I am a woman (big strike these days) – I am at least past childbearing age. I have two awesome cats. I have good family & friends who are like-minded. I can help people. I can continue to yell at my elected representatives. (Even today!)

Treading that thin line between trying to be prepared without catastrophizing is a challenge, though.  But I’ll get there, and this time off will be good for continuing to figure things out.

And at least I have this:

And for me, that means going to the local dispensary and getting my medical cannabis card today. I’m not really a weed gal – I average one joint about every 15 years, but I’m feeling like having legal access to edibles with regulated quantities of the good stuff may not be the worst idea given what is coming.

I have a dear friend who works in mental health who I would trust with my life, and he wholeheartedly endorses legal maryjane – he says as far as he is concerned, it’s the best thing out there for the “AHHHGGHHHHHH!” that is our current hellscape.

And in other fun capitalist hellscape stuff, this week we had our quarterly all hands, combined with some holiday activities and a happy hour at the office – perfectly nice gesture, but I passed on going into the office for a myriad of reasons, the biggest one being, “I have work to do and I no longer have control over my fucking face when folks say things.” And then folks got shit stolen from the office during the party. Hella endorsement for getting folks to come into the office for any reason.

Later today it’s off to one last Christmas market for the season, because I LOVE A CHRISTMAS MARKET! And this one is legit 5 minutes from the house, and there will be a bake sale to support a local historic landmark to boot! So really, it’s a community support activity. 🥰

After pretty much ignoring the cat shelf turned into Christmas shelf, Sean decided he wanted to be part of the Christmas decor – such a handsome lad! (I want to put him in a green and red plaid bow tie SO BADLY.)

And Eclectech over on Mastodon has been putting Santa hats on folks’ pets and LOOK HOW ADORABLE SEAN AND JORGE ARE!!

Then I gotta figure out how much Christmas stuff I need to do.  The great thing is that I’ve gotten presents ahead of time this year.  But I’m not totally sure where everything is, LMAO.

Short week coming up, yay!  Cause I’m definitely gonna need those extra days to get ready for the holiday.

Enjoy your weekend and hang in there.

So, by now I think most folks have heard about the CEO of United Health Care being killed in the middle of the day in NYC. And given that UHC is notorious for denying insurance claims – 32%, highest in the industry – and made 22 billion with a B in PROFITS last year – there wasn’t exactly an outpouring of sadness.

And I’ll be honest, when I heard the news, I had very mixed emotions and one thought was, “Kinda surprised this didn’t happen sooner.”

And then in the most spectacular example of tone deafness I’ve seen in a while, the interim CEO says, “We have to guard against unnecessary care.” Dude, THAT is your takeaway? But I suppose it tracks with the rest of the industry deciding that between doing some real introspection or just taking down leadership pages on websites, they decided hiding was the right answer.

The BBC was pretty spot on with this headline: Killing of insurance CEO reveals simmering anger at US health system. Though the push notification I got from them was “rage” vs “anger” – and frankly, rage is more accurate.

I don’t think this is a one-off. I think we may be seeing the start of a reckoning here in the United States.

Everyone has a breaking point – and I think a lot more folks are a lot closer to it since the election, and the realization is setting in that as far as these CEO’s and billionaires that bought the election are concerned, we’re nothing. Just figures in their little Sims game, to continue to be sacrificed at the altar of profits & shareholder value. And maybe the problem isn’t the day laborers outside the Home Depot, but instead the CEO’s and billionaires who are making it impossible for people to survive.

It’s not like we have the courts anymore, not that they were much good before – it’s not like anyone really has the resources go up against these assholes when they hurt people.

So yeah, I think we’re going to start seeing more extrajudicial actions from people who have hit the point where they have nothing to lose. And I don’t think the 1% have any idea how many of them are out there.

Cause it’s a LOT. At least I have today off work. I’m old, Thanksgiving weekend is busy and tiring, so yeah, an extra day it is.

The firehose of news continues to be exhausting. Biden pardoned his son, and I get it, the incoming admin probably would have continued to go after him. And of course, the media is BREATHLESSLY reporting on the Republican pearl clutching, as though nothing like this has ever, ever happened. And to any Democrats scolding Biden, FUCK YOU, cause if you think Trump won’t fucking come after you or your family, you’re delusional.

Also had the fairly craptastic realization that for my lifetime, electing Harris would likely be the last chance we had to make things better in this country. I’m pretty sure the Republicans are gonna fuck shit up SO badly, it’s going to take generations to fix it.

Then we have Syria apparently deciding they don’t want to be left out of all the war fun over on that side of the world. I’m not completely up on what is happening, but the Russians are bombing Syrian cities again, I assume to keep Assad in power, and Assad is blaming the west for things popping off again, because of course.

There is a reason I have ESPN on more than anything these days. Also, quite impressive that I’ve not spent every day since the election fuck all blackout drunk, or gotten on any Teams meeting and screamed “WHO THE FUCK HERE PUT THAT JACKASS IN OFFICE AGAIN?” Go me! (Still absolutely entering my villian era, though.)

In more entertaining things, the Gävle Goat still stands – sure, I think it probably has to burn because there are old gods that need to be appeased, but I’d like to see it last at least until Christmas. Maybe we do a Boxing Day burndown? I don’t know why I’m so fascinated with the Swedish goat, but I am. (Last year, I was “oh yay, it survived!” Oh no, it needed to burn, I see that now.)

And in an attempt to keep my spirits up, I took a fused glass class this weekend, and it was a ton of fun – 3 hours of hyperfocusing on something creative and hooboy did I need it. And holy shit, snowflakes are hard and I cannot visualize a 60 degree angle to save my life. No idea how they’ll even look after firing, but I already signed up for two more classes – votive candle holders and suncatchers. So, the world isn’t allowed to end for a couple more months, because I paid in advance for these classes. Below are the pre-fired snowflakes. (Yes, the blue on is absolutely turtle shaped.)

And Sean & Jorge continue to be sweet and goofy and generally awesome.

Though things are quite shit, yet again, there are things to look forward to and fight for. Cats. Art. People. Good food. Sticking it to The Man.

I’m sad, tired, and kinda depressed, but I’m also angry enough to not totally give up.

And reason #387 why it was a Very Good Idea to get a pre-seasoned turkey for the day – I managed to have NO alarms set this morning. Woke up once around 8:30 for about 3 seconds and was out like a light until 10 AM. Oops.

The cheese & charcuterie is out and awesome.

I’m thankful for my very small family, my awesome kitties, and my friends – IRL and online scattered all over the world. I’m thankful for all the new doggos visiting the neighborhood this week. Thankful that I’ve got a reasonable amount of health points left, a decent enough job, and did I mention the awesome kitties?

Wherever you are, have a wonderful day.

Thought I was doing OK-ish, but I’m also realizing my stress/anxiety/rage are basically right back where they were 2016-2020 and that jackass hasn’t even taken office yet. I know his first term shortened my lifespan, I feel like I’ll be lucky to not keel over at some point in the second term.

Oh, and the media outlets breathlessly reporting that they’re implementing Project 2025, even though 45 disavowed it! No shit, sherlock, 45 lied! He lies constantly! How do you not fucking know this yet? Oh, his cabinet appointments are all abhorrent trash? You’re surprised?!

IDK, maybe the media shouldn’t have treated him like he was just a senile, racist grandpa that no one wants to be around at Thanksgiving and actually reported on his actual fucking plans so folks weren’t googling “what is a tariff” and “what is project 2025” immediately after the election.

Like, how hard would have been for any major media outlet to say, “If these policies go through, people will get hurt and the cost of survival will go through the fucking roof. Because unless the product you buy has a supply chain that is 100% in the US AND that supply chain doesn’t involve any labor targeted for mass deportation, you’re just fucked. And people you supposedly care about are going to be hurt, because they’ll be targeted for who they are, denied health care, get laid off, and any other number of shit things.”

But Harris’ policies weren’t presented in a pleasing enough font or some shit.

Still cycling through all the emotions. Repeatedly. Whole damn washing machine of feelings. Anger, sadness, hurt, confusion, disbelief, determination, and a slew of others.

And my post-election analysis is as follows: Racism and misogyny on the right. Racism, misogyny, and general dumbassery on the left. I just don’t think it goes much deeper than that. I’m pissed at white men, and I’m even more pissed at white women, and fuck if I know how to make them change their tune.

Much like when Covid hit, I suspect I’ll be writing more. Coping, processing, ranting, repeating myself, etc. Just be warned, LOL.

Coping so far:

• Reached out to a friend who is understandably hurting to make sure she knows she’s not alone, and sent a little gift.
• Started weekly donations to groups who I think will need help. Will be rotating through the food bank, a local LGBTQ+ youth support group, Whitman Walker Clinic, and the animal shelter. Food for the folks & pets that will need it if the economy goes to shit, support for the LGBTQ+ community that will always need it, but even moreso now. Pretty sure these will be my lanes going forward.
• Figured out how to make non-breaded baked chicken breasts that aren’t dry as fuck, and they were awesome. (In times of crisis, we need to eat.)
• Lots of cuddling the cats.

I’ve decided to treat work as a distraction that pays me. I know, “But capitalism and authoritarianism wants you distracted!” But it’s not the same kind of distraction, and this distraction keeps me from despair, and again, pays me, and I can use that money to help others.

When that clicked today, it felt like I’d 100% turned the tables on my employer. But for the love of god, don’t tell them that, if they realize I’m using my 8 hours a day of fiddly spreadsheet time as some fucked up therapy, they’re gonna start charging me for it.

Saw an otherwise fairly sane and knowledgable person going on about “Well, they can’t do things without due process!” The fuck they can’t – due process is the best case scenario, here. And the courts being as fucked as they are, probably the most we can hope for is to slow some things down. But, we help who we can, slow down anything and everything we can, and do the best we can. Some days our best won’t be enough, but some days it will, and we’ll keep going and keep trying.

To do all of this, we also need to stay functional, which will range from the absolutely mundane – sleep, eat well, exercise – to things that will feel downright selfish – stepping back from the news, having fun, creating art, enjoying nice things. But, we gotta be functional to be helpful.

And those are my rambles at the end of this back-to-work-after-a-holiday-weekend Tuesday.